Prose is where I am me. I'm not anyone's wife or anyone's mother, or sister, or daughter for that matter. Here, no one defines me but me. 

I leave my physical body behind when I enter Prose- here, only my heart and mind exist. It doesn't matter if I haven't showered today or if my hair is both frizzy and limp (how? how? how does that happen?) I know that I can still draw people to me if I've written a piece that speaks to them with honesty (and good grammar, a few artistic liberties notwithstanding). 

Sometimes my words are angry and vengeful, at other times they are kind and loving, but no matter what path I take, I know that if I write it well enough, perfect strangers will feel our kinship. For that exquisite moment, we are one.

Prose is my guilty pleasure but if I'm honest, I don't really feel guilty about it. At all. 

And I know that I'm going to be here for a long time- reading, writing and believing in the dream that we all share...that we will hit the bestseller lists some day! 

You are my kin and I love you all dearly. 

Tyrants terrorize thousands. Those teaching the truth, taken to task, terribly. Tortured, their trust turns to treachery. Tanks thunder through tree-lined towns turning them to torn, tangled terror. Troops travel through, taking the townsfolk. Tiny tombs torment thousands.

Time to travel. Thousands throng together. Terrified, they tread tentatively, travelling through treacherous terrain. Thankfully…tents!

Tick tock.

Tiny, timid, traumatized toddlers taught tenuous theology turn to thoughtless thin teenagers transgressing towards totalitarianism. Talk tends towards training. The tide turns. The tormented transform to the tormentors.

“Fired?!”

I stared at her in disbelief.

“I don’t understand.”

She crossed her arms and stared me down, unsympathetically.

“I think you do.”

“You’re the firm’s lawyer. Isn’t it your job to protect me?”

“It’s my job to protect the firm’s interest. If you don’t understand that, Elliott and Croswaithe was never the right place for you.”

I buried my head in my hands. This couldn’t be happening. I had done everything by the book. How had it had gone so horribly wrong?

“Your exit interview will be at 8am tomorrow. Please be punctual.”

She stood up and I lifted my head to look at her. She was gesturing to someone behind me. I turned. It was a security guard, waiting outside her office, the glass walls allowing him to watch us unobserved. He came in and stood next to me. He wasn’t moving but he stood so close to me that I understood the threat. Patricia looked at me with narrowed eyes. They had worked intimidation down to an art form.

I stood up and walked out slowly.

The office was unusually quiet. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked down the corridor. I felt like a prisoner on death row.

It couldn’t end like this. I looked around desperately.

The restroom was coming up ahead. I sped up slightly. It took the burly security guard a moment to increase his pace but the gap was all I needed to duck sideways into the open doorway. I heard him grunt with frustration as I ran in.

Ha!

It was a small victory but it was all I had. And it had bought me some time.

I rushed into one of the stalls and called Kay.

“Kayla Schmidt” she said pleasantly into the phone.

“Kay, it’s me!” I said quickly.

“What is going on?” she muttered into the phone.

“They’re firing me.”

“What?” her voice dropped down to a whisper. “Oh my gosh! I’m going to lose my apartment. I’ll have to move back to Atlanta. Oh fish. Flipping pancakes.”

Flipping pancakes was the Kay’s equivalent of Defcon 1. She had been brought up in a strict Southern household and no matter how upset she got, she couldn’t find it in herself to curse. I was born and raised in the city and cursed freely. It was odd that we were best friends, but I didn’t have time to reminisce over that.

“You’re fine”, I said, “I didn’t tell them about you.”

She was quiet for a minute. Then she sniffed. I realized she was crying.

“Stop that!” I hissed at her, “if they find out that you are talking to me, they’ll toss you out right now.”

She stopped.

“Kay” I said desperately, “All the evidence is in my desk drawer. I can’t get it out now. Will you lock it and take the key? I’ll meet you at the Wheeltapper after work."

“Okay” she said. I could hear her turning the key. “Done."

“Thanks” I said. “I gotta go.”

Not a moment too soon. A female security guard walked in.

“You can’t stay in there forever” she said.

“I don’t want to leave like this”, I said. “Escorted out of the building. Just let me get my coat and my handbag and I’ll leave myself.”

“Don’t bother”, she said, “I have your coat and bag right here. You have two minutes to leave the building. And don’t even think about trying to take anything else with you.”

I unlocked the door and came out. She didn’t make any move to stop me. I went straight to the elevator. I was out of the building in less than a minute.

I had been drinking at the Wheeltapper for several hours when Kay walked in. She gave me an apologetic smile and put a set of keys on the table.

“Thanks” I slurred.

“I moved the files. Don’t worry, no one saw me”, she said, looking around nervously, “Also, I locked your drawers again, just to throw them off. I think they might break into your desk tonight, after everyone leaves.”

“That’s clever”, I said. “You should go. I wouldn’t put it past them to have you followed.”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“I dunno.”

“Pat's really mad about the whole thing. The partners think you showed her up with your bathroom stunt. Someone overheard her saying that she is bringing in the big guns for your exit interview.”

I shrugged.

“I really just don’t care anymore. Peter is a lying, cheating, morally decrepit turd. His client is defrauding that pension fund and he is actively helping him hide the money overseas. I’ve got the proof and I was naive to think that they didn’t know and would do something when they found out. All they care about is billable hours. Well, I’ll go to the Attorney General if I have to. If they don’t care about the law, they have no right to be lawyers."

“I’m scared”, said Kay.

“Don’t be, you’re out of it now. You’ve done enough”, I said reassuringly.

She left quickly. The waitress brought my next round. And then several rounds after that.

I’m not sure how long he had been sitting at the bar by himself. But I knew that I had been drinking alone at that table for too long. And he was handsome. So when he came up to me, and asked if he could join me, I could think of nothing I wanted more.

He looked at me and chuckled.

“Banker, lawyer or hedge fund?”

“Am I that obvious?”

“Armani suit. Cartier watch. Prada bag. And you look utterly miserable. So that’s a definite yes.”

I smiled at him and he beamed back at me.

“Lawyer. And you, happy face, what do you do?”

He chuckled.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever called me that before. I’m a lawyer too.”

“You any good?”

“I like to think so. Otherwise, my parents wasted a lot of money on law school."

“Where did you go?”

“Yale.”

“Solid safety school.”

He burst out laughing. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had laughed with me, I liked it.

“Let me guess, you went to Harvard” he said, shaking his head.

I nodded. “I did, and it wasn’t easy. I grew up on the lower East Side- in the projects, not the village. I earned my right to go Harvard by studying my ass off.”

“Not completely, I hope” he teased, peeking around me.

I was several drinks down.

“Do you want to come home with me?” I said bluntly.

“What?” he looked at me, startled.

Embarrassed, I stared down at my glass.

He put his hand over mine, reassuringly.

“I’m not judging, I’m just surprised. And to answer your question- yes, yes I do. I’m really glad you said that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s hard being a guy and having to read all these subtle signals, never knowing when to ask, not wanting to push. I really like you but I would definitely not have had the nerve to ask right off the bat. But I think there is something I need to know.”

“What?”

“Your name.”

I laughed and he joined in.

“Alex."

“Hi Alex, I’m Joe. Would you like to have one for the road?”

I smiled and nodded.

“You have such a lovely smile. Why were you so sad when I walked in? Please say anything except a bad break up. I really don’t want to be your rebound guy. Rebound relationships never work.”

I chuckled.

“Well, yes and no. It was awful break up. But not with a guy. With my firm. They are firing me.”

“You’re a Harvard graduate, why would anyone fire you?”

“We get fired too, you know. But I found out that something that one of the partners had been doing. And it’s illegal. So I reported him to my supervisor and instead of doing anything about him, they decided to fire me instead.”

“Maybe I can help? I mean, I know I only went to Yale, but still, I am a lawyer too, you know. ”

I shook my head.

“Thank you, that’s a really nice thing to say but I don’t want to involve anyone else in my mess.”

“What if I want to be involved in your mess?”

I think I fell in love with him in that moment.

“Tell me, I’ll help if I can. What did this guy do?”

“His client is stealing money from a pension fund and he is helping.”

He raised his hands.

“Just to play devil’s advocate, let’s say that’s true. He is a lawyer, it’s his job to defend his client, no matter how morally repugnant it may be to him.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that. He actually helped his client to hide the stolen funds. And he’s taking a cut. What he is doing is illegal.”

“Do you have proof?”

“Yes.”

“In a safe place, I hope.”

“I guess so.”

“You guess so?” he raised his eyebrows quizzically.

“I don’t know where it is. My friend Kay hid it for me.”

“She sounds like a good friend.”

“She’s the best.”

“Nooo!” he protested, "I want to be the best, what do I gotta do to beat out Kayla?”

I laughed.

“I’m not sure, she’s a really good friend.”

“I’m paying the tab. Then we’re going to your place. I think I can give your friend a run for her money.”

“Fine by me” I struggled to stand up as he walked to the bar.

He came back with my credit card and helped me up. We put on our coats and stumbled out of the door. It took less than a minute for him to hail a cab and in less than ten, we were in my apartment tearing each other’s clothes off.

“You weren’t exaggerating”, I said, lying back and pulling up the sheet. “That was amazing. I think my whole crappy day was worth it, just for that one moment.”

“One moment?! You were yelling for a good ten minutes!”

I laughed and he joined in. He pulled me closer to him, and his chest felt warm against my back. It was nice.

“Don’t worry. Everything will work itself out, it always does.”

“I hope so” I said sadly, “but I’m scared.”

“Of what? They can’t disbar you for doing the right thing. And the next firm will see that you are not only intelligent and honest but also incredibly brave. And your friend too.”

“The firm doesn’t know that she had anything to do with it.”

“Good, keep it that way. Maybe she can be your man on the inside, in a manner of speaking.”

“I don’t know. She’s done so much already.”

“She hid the evidence. I’m not saying that that’s nothing, but it’s not that much either. It’s not like she helped you to collect the evidence.”

I looked guilty.

“She did, didn’t she?”

“She was the one who noticed that money was going missing from the pension fund. She made copies of their internal statements.”

He shook his head.

“That’s totally illegal.”

“I know” I said, “but she did it for the right reasons. She took a big risk so I need to keep her safe now.”

“Who’s gonna keep you safe?”

I didn’t answer.

“Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I gotta go, I have an early meeting.”

He rolled me onto my back and kissed me.

“But I’ll see you tomorrow” he looked at his watch, “or today actually.”

“You will?”

“Yes, I will.”

He rolled off the bed and got dressed quickly. He blew me a kiss and left.

I looked at the clock, it was 5am. I had to be in the office in three hours.

“Ugh!”

There was no point in trying to sleep it off. I went to the bathroom and forced myself to throw up. Then I had a shower and made myself some coffee. Several cups later, I was exhausted but I didn’t feel drunk anymore. It was 7am. I changed and headed to work.

It was cold out and I walked slowly. I was seven thirty by the time I got there. I signed in at the front desk and waited. I recognized the burly security guard who came down a few minutes later. I smiled at him but he just stared at me indifferently.

“Let’s go”, he said, pointing to the elevators and I followed him obediently.

When we got upstairs, he led me to one of the main conference rooms.

That was odd.

I walked in and sat down. A few moments later, Kay walked in. She saw me and froze.

“What’s going on?” she asked nervously.

“I have no idea”, I said.

Patricia walked in.

“Please have a seat”, she said to Kayla.

“Why is she here?” I asked but Patricia ignored me.

Kayla sat down nervously on a chair at the far end of the room.

Joe walked in.

“Joe?” I said, stunned, “what are you doing here?”

He smiled at me. “Hi Alex, told you I’d see you today. I bet you didn’t think it would be so soon!”

I looked between him and Pat, who was smiling smugly.

“No!” I said, my heart sinking, “no.”

He laughed loudly.

Sober now, I realized that his laugh didn’t quite reach his eyes. It was a cruel, mocking laugh devoid of any happiness. What had I done?

I turned to Kay in a panic.

“Don’t say anything!” I said and she shrunk back further into her chair, clearly terrified.

Joe smiled at her.

“Don’t worry Kayla, you don’t have to say anything, we already know you helped Alex. She told us everything.”

I shook my head at her and she smiled at me, bravely.

“I don’t believe you”, she said to Joe. “If you knew that, you’d have fired me already. I wouldn’t be here.”

“You’re wrong Kay- do you mind if I call you Kay?” he asked. He continued without waiting for a response, “Alex told us that you illegally photocopied your clients internal statements and shared them with her. Did you know that you could be disbarred for that?"

She looked at me, stung at my betrayal. How could I explain to her what I had done?

"She also told us that you are the only one who knows where the evidence is hidden, and that my dear, is why we are here. Give us the evidence and you can walk out of this room right now. Or we can have a different discussion.”

“Flipping pancakes” she said, staring at me in disbelief.

“You should do it, Kay”, I said softly, ignoring the pain in my chest. “It’s your only way out of here.”

“I don’t need advice from you”, she said coldly.

She pulled a set of keys out of her bag and tossed them on the table.

“It’s in the file room. In the drawer labeled Miller. It is the key at the end.”

Joe pointed at the door and smiled. “You’ll go far at Elliott and Croswaithe.”

She left without a backward glance and they looked at me.

“Sign this”, said Patricia nastily, pushing a piece of paper towards me.

I skimmed through the document.

I couldn’t help myself; I looked at Joe for help.

My Joe- the one I had taken home last night. Joe, who had pulled me out of despair with his laugh, Joe, who wanted to be in my mess, Joe, whom I had fallen in love with.

But in the cold light of day, that Joe didn’t exist.

He looked at me, his expression full of malice and pushed a pen towards me. He was almost salivating with eagerness as he watched me pick it up. It was more hurtful than anything he could have said.

I signed it and pushed the paper back towards him.

It was over. I had lost.

“Twitch Andrews?”

No response. She looks up at me, eyebrows raised.

“Present.” I scowl.

She drones on with the daily attendance list. Doesn’t think twice about it.

Tristram. My name is TRISTRAM.

I want to scream at her. But it isn’t just her. It’s all of them.

“Breathe,” I tell myself.

I doubt that anyone even remembers what my real name is. People have short memories.

Heat is blasting through the vents. Nothing ever works the way it is supposed to in this place.

I can feel the sweat trickling down my back. The classroom is unbearably hot. I find it difficult to concentrate when it is this hot. I continually feel myself drifting off. I can’t let that happen.

I touch the wall; it is reassuringly cool. I slowly edge my chair closer until I am half hidden in the corner. Much better, I can get down to business.

A spasm goes through my leg as the needle pierces the skin. I anticipated the pain, but I can’t help an involuntary twitch.

Two girls sitting behind me start sniggering and whispering to each other. In spite of their hushed tones, I know they are talking about me. I overhear the words “freak” and “psycho”. I pretend not to notice but I can feel the blood throbbing in my head and the rage building inside me. It isn’t enough that I suffer. They have to humiliate me as well.

I concentrate on my breathing and try to calm down. I overshoot; my mind starts wandering again. I brace myself and move the needle in further.

Pain. There is always so much pain.

Scratches, cuts, burns; layers upon layers of scar tissue. I took down the mirror in my bathroom. It’s only getting worse, what’s the point of looking at it.

A year ago, there wasn’t a blemish on me. I feel the rage building again and I try to calm down. It doesn’t matter what they think. It doesn’t matter what they say. I’m not a masochist. I’m not crazy. I hate pain. They don’t understand; this is the only way to stay sane. I have to stay strong until I can find a way to fix this.

I will find a way. To heal myself. To make them pay.

It wasn’t just Julian who did this to me. All of them helped him to cover it up- the Sheriff, the cops, even my psychiatrist. I know she is in on it too. She doesn’t know that I’m on to her. None of them do. I’m just biding my time, playing dumb, playing crazy. They don’t know I didn’t lose my memory, I remember everything from that night. And everything that happened after. Everything.

* * *

It all began on the Fourth of July last year. I was planning to spend the afternoon playing video games with Rich. My mother had other plans.

“Why are you still on the couch, Tris? Let’s go”, she said, gesturing towards the door.

She was wearing a strappy floral dress and make-up. She had even curled her hair. It was a dramatic change from her usual look- nurse’s scrubs with her hair in a ponytail. I gaped at her in surprise, I barely recognized her.

“Whoa, mom, you went all out. Like one of those make over shows.”

Embarrassed, she looked at herself in the hallway mirror. She rubbed her cheeks self-consciously and dabbed her mouth with a tissue. She put her hands through her long, blonde hair, pulling some of the curls looser.

“Better?” she asked uncertainly.

I continued to play my game.

She made a frustrated sound.

“Are you planning to change?” she asked irritably.

“Why?” I asked without looking up.

She stared at me, annoyed at my rumpled appearance as I lounged on the living room couch. She walked over, blocking the screen and gestured at the door.

“I thought I didn’t have to go”, I mumbled from the couch.

“What do you mean?” she demanded. Before I could answer, she added, “We went last year and it was absolutely wonderful.”

I began to protest that last year’s party had definitely not been “wonderful”. I offered up “insanely boring” or “worst party ever” but she ignored me.

“We are going. Sitting on the couch all day is not an option. Now, grab the salad off the dining table. I’ll get the dessert from the fridge. Now, Tris.”

She started bustling around, grabbing keys and putting random objects in her handbag.

“Why can’t you just go, mom? I don’t even like the Asperger’s” I said petulantly. I had paused the game but still hadn’t moved off the couch. I yawned lazily.

She smacked the back of my head, startling me.

“Don’t talk like that. They are good people.”

“Whatever”, I responded, annoyed. Then I remembered.

“And what am I supposed to say to Rich? He’s gonna be here any minute. I told him that he could spend the fourth with us.”

She glared at me. Clearly, she had forgotten that Rich was coming.

“You were the one who said I should invite him.” I said defensively.

She stopped what she was doing and sighed impatiently. I held my breath, hoping that she would cave. She was looking at me uncertainly and I knew she was tempted to leave us behind.

“Let me call Roland and see if we can include Rich.”

I cursed softly and got off the couch; I could see that there was no way out.

I made my way to the dining table and grabbed a large bowl covered in cling wrap. I could hear her talking on the phone as I checked my hair in the mirror. I smoothed down my t-shirt. Not bad, I thought and gave my reflection a thumbs-up.

“Thank you Roland, that’s very gracious of you. We’ll see you soon. Bye.” Smiling, she walked back into the kitchen and put the phone back on the wall.

Her smile faded as soon as she turned around and saw me smirking.

“Stop it, Tristram”.

She was embarrassed.

“You know mom, if you like him so much, why don’t you just ask Mr. Asperger out?”

Her face turned red. If she wasn’t mad before, she was now.

“That’s enough, Tristram. I didn’t raise you to talk like that. You should know better, Rita can’t help her condition. And she could really use a friend.”

I rolled my eyes. “Everyone calls them that, mom.”

“I don’t and you won’t either,” she said firmly. “Now, out. We’ll pick up Rich on the way.”

“Fine” I sighed. “I’ll tell you what mom- I’ll stop saying that, if you stop trying to get me to hang out with Rita Hasberger.” I emphasized the last name.

Before she could respond, I noticed a dark haired teenager in ill-fitting clothes walking up our driveway. It was unmistakably Rich. His grandfather shopped for him in the clearance box at the Salvation Army and rarely paid attention to the size of the garments he purchased. I rushed to the door.

“Hey Rich!!” I yelled as I threw it open. He walked up to the house slowly.

“You’re early! We would have picked you up”, I said.

Even though he looked hot and was sweating profusely, he smiled at me good-naturedly as he came up to the door.

“Hey dude! I wasn’t really doing anything, so I figured I would just walk and save you guys the drive. Hi, Mrs. Andrews.” he said cheerfully. Rich’s parents had died when he was very young and he lived with his grandfather who was too old to drive.

“Well, good sir, I am afraid that I am the bearer of bad news. Plans have changed. We are not gonna hang out here and have fun. Instead, we are going to a barbeque at the Hasbergers’”, I said to Rich, stressing the word. My mother rolled her eyes and hustled me out of the house.

* * *

Outside, the heat was unbelievable. I turned and tried to rush back inside but my mother was too quick for me. She pulled the door shut behind us and stared me down.

Rich smiled and gave me a friendly shove. “Oh, come on princess, it isn’t that bad.”

We stepped out into the blinding glare. Squinting, I walked slowly to the car.

Balancing the salad bowl in one hand, I grabbed the car door handle with the other and was immediately scalded by the hot metal. Yelping, I let out a loud curse and dropped the salad bowl. Rich grabbed it before it hit the ground. The cling wrap had saved the ingredients from roasting on our driveway.

“My spider sense was tingling”, he said with a grin. I snorted.

My mother glared at me and gave Rich an appreciative smile.

“Thank you Richard.”

Once inside the car, we weren’t any better off. It was like a furnace, and we tried not to touch any of the searing surfaces as we sat down.

“You boys okay back there?”

We writhed in a parody of death convulsions and silent screams in response.

“Okay, okay, okay”, she laughed. “I’ve turned the AC on full. It’s going to cool down in here. Jeez, you two, cut it out already.”

Somehow, in spite of the heat, everyone’s mood had lifted. Rich always had that effect on people. Judging from my mother’s attitude, I didn’t.

As we pulled out of the driveway, the 70s radio station started blaring. My mother always said that it was her favorite radio station but I knew that wasn’t true. The truth was that the radio was broken and she didn’t want to fix it. It had been that way for almost a decade, ever since my father had died, sitting where she sat now.

It was all Antonio’s fault. He had known that there was something wrong with the car and had still sold it to us. After the investigation, we weren’t able to hold the dealership liable, the police had ruled my father’s death an accident. But Antonio knew that he was responsible for his death, and when the car was released from the police impound lot, he had taken it back to the dealership and repaired for free. My mother hadn’t objected. Or thanked him. Almost everything had been replaced and worked perfectly. Everything except the radio; no one had noticed that the radio was still broken.

I wasn’t sure if my mother felt that getting the radio fixed meant finally admitting that my father was gone. Or if she felt that Antonio was responsible and would someday return to fix it. Whatever the reason, the radio had not been fixed in over a decade.

ABBA faded out and the radio show host told us that it was the hottest Independence Day in over 60 years. I couldn’t tell. I always felt hot in July.

I stared out of my window. In spite of the heat, almost every backyard grill was on. Sweaty men huddled in groups around their grills, staring down with intensity as the burning coals glared back. They looked grotesque.

“If I ever end up like that, please kill me.” I declared to Rich.

“I don’t know, I think they look kind of cool.”

I laughed but he didn’t join in. I turned to him for an explanation.

He was looking out, over my shoulder, smiling.

“No, really. I think they look like warriors,” he said.

I looked again at our burly neighbors, sweating and cooking. I didn’t see it. I saw my mother glancing out of her window and then looking back at the road with a perplexed expression.

”Look at them, Tris- men and beasts, fighting for supremacy.”

He lowered his voice to a whisper.

“The shining beasts slumber peacefully. Men surround them; armed with long, silver tongs. The beasts awaken and open their mouths, snarling. Heat pours out of their burning red orifices. The men stand their ground, watching, waiting for the right moment. The beasts build up their strength. Now they are ready- their mouths open again and the heat is almost unbearable. But the men are ready- they knew this was coming. They throw in enormous hunks of raw meat and clamp down. Smoke billows, you can smell the carcasses burning, the fight is over. The men have tamed these ravenous creatures.”

He paused. “I think they look incredible. Like knights taming dragons.”

Rich had a way with words. Even my mother looked impressed. But it wasn’t just what he said, it was what he saw. I envied him; I didn’t see the world the same way.

“I guess so”, I mumbled and stared out of my window.

The Bee Gees shrilled all the way to the Hasbergers.

* * *

A girl with bright blue eyes and a mop of black hair greeted us at the door. She opened the door but didn’t step aside to let us in.

“Hi!” said my mother warmly, smiling at Rita.

“Hi” said Rita in flat voice. She didn’t move.

“That’s a nice dress Rita, it really brings out your eyes” said my mother affectionately. Rita didn’t respond.

“This is just lovely. Now, can we please come in?” I asked impatiently from behind. I was roasting in the sun.

“Yes” said Rita and stepped aside.

It was wonderfully cool inside. I saw Rita’s father, Roland, in the corner. He was enormous and made no effort to disguise the fact that he disliked me. I found him terrifying. I avoided looking in that direction but I could tell he was looking at me.

I turned back around to Rita.

“Hi Rita, it’s nice to see you”, I said politely. Then I turned and walked away quickly to avoid any further interaction with her.

I scanned the room to see if anyone else I knew was there. It was unlikely as Rita was something of a social pariah. Still, a boy can hope. I looked around. There were only two other kids our age there -one was a fashionably dressed girl wearing dark glasses indoors and the other a large boy who seemed to be absorbed in conversation with her. I figured she could do better than him, so I puffed out my chest and gave her a casual hello wave but she ignored me.

Whatever. Her loss.

I made my way to the buffet table.

Behind me, I heard Rich giving Rita the same cursory greeting before joining me.

“Dark glasses indoors, really?” I said to Rich

He looked startled.

“You are kidding, right? That’s Tasha.”

“Who?” I asked irritably. “You know what, I don’t care. Let’s eat.”

He shrugged amiably, “Okay.”

As I was helping myself, I surreptitiously watched Roland and my mother. He had visibly relaxed once we had walked past Rita and was sneaking glances at my mother. She greeted a few people and then slowly made her way over to him. He lost interest in anyone else in the room. So did she.

“It’s like one of those all you can eat buffets” said Rich excitedly, looking at the table.

Following his gaze, I saw that it was a eclectic potluck of food that Roland’s friends had brought- salad, rice and beans, noodles, Polish sausage, there was even lasagna. It was a welcome change from the two bowls of chips that had been on the table last year.

Rich and I piled our plates high and sat in a corner, eating. A few helpings later, I was full.

As we sat in the corner watching the other guests, I saw my mother follow Roland out to their back yard.

Scowling, I walked to the back door and peeped out. They were standing next to a grill. I walked back in and threw myself down next to Rich.

“Save some space. They’re making burgers and dogs”, I said to him.

He was still eating but he paused to nod at me.

A little while later, they walked back in, carrying plates of hot dogs and burgers.

We waited for a few people to help themselves before we made our move.

“Ready?” I asked.

Rich nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh yeah.”

“I can’t move”, I said to him, when I was done, leaning back against the wall. “That was good. Surprisingly.”

I needed the restroom. I went around the corner, passing Roland’s study. The door was ajar and I peeped in. There was a bottle of bourbon on his table. It was almost full. I looked around. There was no one. Too risky, I kept going.

On the way back I looked in to the study again. The bottle was still there. And everyone was still in the lounge. I walked in to the room and shut the door quietly behind me.

There was a window behind his desk, overlooking the side of the house. I opened it and stuck my head out. There was nothing to see- just the fence and some bushes.

Perfect.

I grabbed the bottle and gently lowered it into the bushes right below the window and then made my way back to the lounge.

Rich looked up at me, as he stuffed his last bite of hot dog into his mouth. “What do we do now?” he asked, through a mouthful of food.

I smiled. “Follow me.”

We snuck around to the side of the house. I pulled the bottle out from the bushes.

He looked impressed.

I unscrewed the cap and gave it a sniff. It smelled awful.

“Smells good!” I declared confidently.

“Yeah, totally” agreed Rich, looking around nervously.

“Relax“, I said confidently, “No one’s coming.”

I took a small sip. It tasted even worse than it smelled. I forced myself to swallow. My eyes teared up a little.

I handed the bottle over. “It is really good” I lied.

He took a sip and spat it out immediately.

I felt better.

“You’ve got to swallow it quickly”, I said, pushing the bottle back towards him. My voice still sounded a little raspy.

He picked it up and took a large swig. With some effort, he swallowed it. He didn’t speak. He just shook his head and shuddered all over.

I took the bottle back and took a big sip. It tasted worse than the first one. I forced it down, trying not to gag.

Rich picked up the bottle slowly and took another sip. Then he pushed it back to me. He looked a little green.

I couldn’t believe it was my turn to drink again. I sighed and picked up the bottle.

This is not how I had imagined it would be.

“You know, Roland is going to get mad when he finds out that we drank his bourbon” said Rich despondently. “What do you think he will do to us?”

He didn’t wait for me to answer.

”Whatever it is, it is going to be really, really bad.” He sat back dejectedly.

Angry Roland was not a pleasant prospect.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I said, putting the bottle back down on the ground. “We’ll need to write a program to get us new identities so he can never find us.”

He smiled. “I’ll add it to our list. Right after, write a program to get you a date.”

I chuckled.

“We hacked into the municipal office, that’s gotta count for something.”

“Yeah, that locked file with the super secret sewage map was a big win.”

We both laughed.

“We need to figure out how Fred gets into the traffic cams. That’s where the big bucks are”, said Rich.

“I don’t know if I want to blackmail people for a living”, I said uncertainly.

“Or own a comic store?”

“No, I do want to own a comic store.”

He smiled wistfully. “Me too.”

“I can’t believe he is only twenty four and he owns a freaking comic book store.”

“He still lives in his mother’s basement though- he’s a total loser.”

“Yeah, he is. And he’s completely insane.”

“And a total douchebag.”

“Yeah, forget him.”

He picked up the bottle and examined it. There was a little more than half still in it.

“You know, we haven’t actually drunk that much. He may not remember how much was in it.”

I perked up. “You’re right. If we just put it back, he might not even notice.”

Rich nodded. He looked at me sideways.

“That’s too bad, I had really wanted to finish it,” he said, cheerfully.

“Me too” I said, wholeheartedly relieved. “Last one?”

He nodded.

I drank a large swig to prove my disappointment and he did the same.

I was glad that was over.

I went back into the house. As I went in, I noticed that there was a cooler on the floor with bottles of water in it. It gave me an idea. I grabbed one and took it with me to the study. Once inside the room, I locked the door and opened the window. Rich passed me the bourbon. I put it back on Roland’s desk and topped it up with some water. Some water spilt on the table and on his papers.

Cursing, I tried to clean up. I didn’t have time for this.

One of the papers was titled “Department of Defense- Veteran Affairs”. Intrigued, I picked it up. There it was, halfway down the page.

“Marine Corps.”

I looked at it with horror- Roland was an ex-marine? And here I was, stealing his liquor and trashing his study. I looked around in panic, quickly re-arranged the papers, reminded myself to be nicer to Rita and ran out of the room.

I headed back out. My mother frowned at me as I walked by again but Roland said something and she got distracted. I rushed out quickly.

I threw myself down next to Rich. I was starting to feel quite dizzy.

“I’ve been thinking”, I said slowly.

“You? Never, I don’t believe it!” he laughed.

I chuckled.

“About Anna” I said shoving him with my elbow. “I think I should ask her out.”

He paused. “You know, she looked at you during Chemistry.”

I couldn’t believe it.

“Chemistry” he said again, meaningfully. “Clear sign.”

We decided to strike while the iron was hot.

He tried to get up but stumbled. I wasn’t feeling great either, but I was doing better than him.

“I’ll tell them we are walking back.” I staggered back inside.

“Mom, Rich and I are going to walk back home. “ I said loudly, while attempting to hide my face behind the partially open door.

She half turned, “Okay. Call me when you get home” she said and continued talking to Roland.

Rita was sitting next to her and looked up at me.

“Bye” she said in a monotone.

“Bye Rita.” I said as I swerved out the door.

Now that it was the evening, the weather was much more pleasant than when we had arrived. It was much cooler and a gentle breeze had started blowing. On the other hand, the entire town now reeked of beer and burnt meat, which made me feel incredibly nauseous.

We walked towards Main Street. Anna’s house was right around the corner. There was a group of girls standing on the corner, giggling.

As we got closer, I realized that Anna was one of them.

I stood up straighter and cleared my throat. I glanced at Rich and he gave me a wobbly thumbs-up as he struggled to walk straight. As we passed by her, I turned and said “hi!” in, what I hoped, was a deep and meaningful voice.

She ignored my greeting and made a little sound that sounded like it could have been “ugh!”

Crushed, we walked on in silence. I braced myself for humiliation.

“That was amazing!” said Rich, unexpectedly.

“Err…what was?” I said, looking around confused.

“The tension, dude. Between the two of you. That was intense. She is definitely into you.”

I looked at Rich suspiciously, looking for signs of sarcasm, but didn’t find any.

“Really?” I asked uncertainly.

“Definitely”, he said and gave a little burp.

“Yeah” I said, feeling significantly more cheerful. “Totally”.

We attempted to high five each other and missed.

“You know, I kinda miss hanging out with you.”

“What are you talking about? We hang out all the time. In fact, we are hanging out, right now.” I leaned in, smiling.

Rich smiled back. “I know, I just meant at school. I think the last time we hung out in school together, was probably freshman year. I mean, ever since you made the team, I hardly ever see you. You even quit the Mathletes and the Geek Squad.”

Even the names made me wince. I looked away, embarrassed.

“It doesn’t have to be all the time, maybe just at lunch, or recess?“

He saw my face.

“Or…not” he trailed off.

How could I explain to him what being accepted by the football team meant to me?

“I’m sorry, man,” I said, still looking at the sidewalk. “It’s just…I can’t. Those guys, Jason and the others- they won’t understand. They would take it as some sort of betrayal. They label everything, everyone- they…we, are jocks, and jocks don’t mix with nerds. It’s just how it is. “

“Oh, and here I was worried that you were going to say something clichéd.”

“I don’t make the rules, man.”

He rolled his eyes.

“You barely even know these guys, you don’t owe them anything. We’ve been best friends since we were four, so what if they don’t like it?”

“It’s not about them. I’m not the same person I used to be. I quit the Mathletes because I’m not a math guy, I just like to code. And I think it’s important that the football team is cohesive. What does it matter anyway? I hang out with them at school and you at home. Don’t worry, there’s enough Tristram for everybody.”

I grinned at him but he didn’t smile back.

“You know Tris, sometimes you can be a real….” he didn’t finish his sentence.

My smile faded. We stood in uncomfortable silence.

“Forget it” he said and started walking again. “It’s going to get dark soon, we should get home.”

I followed him and we carried on slowly along Main Street.

“I need to sit down.” I said. My head was spinning; I leaned back against a lamppost.

“Come on, princess” said Rich, staggering by slowly.

We continued on our seemingly endless journey. I swore to myself that I would never drink again.

The light turned red and the walk signal came on. I could hear the sound of cars in the distance. I stepped onto the road and started crossing the street. I wondered if Anna was thinking about me. Suddenly, two cars came around the corner, incredibly fast. I heard someone scream, “Look out!” but I couldn’t see anything, I was blinded by the headlights. The car tires screeched as it turned away from me and went up onto the sidewalk, missing Rich by inches.

A second car came around the corner, and swerved to avoid hitting the first car. The driver saw me, too late. I knew him. Who was it? The alcohol clouded my mind. I couldn’t think, I just stood there, frozen. It was going to crush me, I was going to die. I screamed.

Rich leapt forward, shoving me out of the way just as it came.

The side of the car hit me and I felt the cold steel collide with my hip. I felt pain all through my leg as I flew back towards the wall, and then, nothing.

Draemus, the King of Dragons hissed with anger. There was filth everywhere. The air was rancid with the stink of rotting flesh and blood. Pieces of rope, broken glass and burnt weapons were strewn all over the once pristine meadow.

There were so few dead bodies amidst all the dragon carcasses; it was clear that it had not been a fair fight. Nor an unanticipated one. All the humans were in battle armor, the dragons without; they hadn’t stood a chance. He looked at the outer ring of carcasses, each dragon curled tightly- it was clear that the soldiers had ambushed the blaze and slaughtered them as they slept.

He felt the anger burning in his chest.

“Cowards” he hissed, his breath burning a path through the corpses.

She followed him quietly, and although the embers under her feet burnt painfully through her boots, she didn’t complain.

As they made their way towards the center of the blaze, it was clear that some of the dragons awoke and tried to fight back. But vastly outnumbered and unarmed, they were able to inflict little damage on their well-prepared adversaries. The remains of a few charred soldiers in their red Queen’s guard uniforms told Draemus all he needed to know about who was responsible for the massacre.

“No!” she cried, seeing his expression. “It doesn’t make sense. Why would they come in uniform? And why would they leave those bodies behind? It’s a set up.”

He lashed out his tail in anger, knocking her to the ground and pinned her down with the scaly tip. She couldn’t help crying out with pain as the ground burned her back.

“I hope you are not too uncomfortable” he hissed. “Lying among the remains of my dead children.”

His eyes blazed with hatred but she held his gaze. “Please” she begged, “you have to believe me. She had nothing to do with this.”

He opened his mouth and she realized, too late, that it didn’t matter to him who had done it- they were all the same to him, all human. And so was she.

He blew an enormous wave of fire at her and she closed her eyes, hoping it would be quick.

But she didn’t burn, instead she was engulfed in ice-cold darkness. She gave an involuntary gasp. Gregory was back.