The Prose Cocktail

(Satire.)

Bartender: “What are we having?”

Customer: “I’ll have The Prose Cocktail.”

Bartender: “Come again?”

Customer: “The Prose Cocktail. You’ve never heard of it?”

Bartender: “No one’s ever asked for that before. What exactly is in it?”

Customer: “Well, first you have to start off with five cups of metaphorical philosophy. You know, like Life is a bowl of rice, everyone is the same until they’re all gone or Clothes are the bandaids that cover the scars that can’t be healed. Then, throw in a splash of relationship issues. This is important because it provides the slight bitterness that the cocktail contains. You should also add a hint of in-the-moment fiction. I wouldn’t recommend developing a story because it’ll make the cocktail too sweet. A teaspoon is fine. Oh, and you can’t forget four tablespoons of cynicism. Most people in this world besides yourself are annoying as hell and essentially suck, which provides for the tangy flavor of the cocktail. You get all that down?”

Bartender: “You mean The Millennial?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, I don’t know how I got the name confused.”