I intend to...

I have had a rough week, as my sister-in-law passed away on Monday evening and she was a year older than me. It was complications due to an illness and it was coming, just any day really. But the thing that hits me the most is that, I had no feeling of loss.

That scared me, maybe I will later, maybe I am doing what i always do in a family crisis and keep everyone going. I don't know. We knew each other in high school but hung out in different crowds. I was there when my brother started dating her, when they got married, when they had each of their three girls. Her legacy.

She was in pain so to me, this was kind of a relief. She isn't in pain any more. And it is kind of like death is a three-part act. Before you die, you die, then the aftermath. We're in the third act of this un-wanted play. Arrangements are being made today and then we will be in our best garb to say good-bye. Motions without emotions.

I do not know if I could do what she did, and keep going, knowing that the end was near.

even this write has taken me a day or two to set in place. I just know this, I want my life to be full...not with things but with people and experiences. Loves and lovers, and the places yet to see, with or without them. The traveling lover, the emotional experimentalist...just me.

Thank you to those I have been more than in touch with, and to you, the reader of this write for being my ear when I need it. Isn't that funny, it didn't hit me till right now, that this page is an ear for me...what face do you picture when you put words to the page?

Have you told them how much you appreciate them?

Life is so short, so go live it. I intend to...