If I pretend, it’ll be.. okay.

-Rei

The thoughts in my head swirl and twirl like a whirlwind pushing me further into the abyss. It gets darker by the day, no matter what any one might say. I’m tired of crying and trying but I have to keep smiling. It hurts; I’m so tired of these mental discomforts. Anxiety, depression, hate, regret. Why must my mind stay so upset.

I’m okay, I’m fine. Life is so divine!

I’ll just keep smiling. I’ll just be more entertaining.

No one can know. No, I won’t show.

I’ll smile, I’ll take it all. I’ll stand tall.

No one will see my walls fall. I won’t let anyone in. No one will see my demons within. I can’t trust anyone. No one will be close enough. They’ll run away. No one is that tough. Please just stay away. I won’t say my pains. Stop asking what’s wrong.

But instead of saying this, I’ll just say, “I’m okay”