Crush

My first crush was is pre-school. I don’t even remember his name. He was tall (for a preschooler) and had perfectly cut blond hair. Everyone liked him. He was the most popular kid on the playground. I remember fighting over him with my best friends who I am still best friends with today. We used to play super heros during recess. He was always the bad guy, I was the hero, and one of my best friends was the innocent he had kidnapped. I remember always being jealous of her, but no one would ever let me be kidnapped. After pre-school, we went our separate ways and never talked again.

That’s about all I can remember of my first crush. As you can see, it didn’t mean much.

My first love was so much more. We went to school together all through middle school, but I didn’t really notice him until 8th grade. He was a nerd and a total jock at the same time, an unlikely combination. I never imagined myself falling for someone like him, and then, suddenly, there he was, in my life. I never told him how much he meant to me. I regret that now. He meant so much to me, I can’t even explain it. I guess I kind of count him as my first real crush. I was never in love with that playground kid. It was kind of like he was just a way to pass time until I met Jacob. Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to have a crush on anyone since. I found my match and now, there is nothing to top it. I guess I will never know what could have been if I hadn’t been so scared.