musings of a mad man

its like too many traumas

going on at once

im running out of excuses

and words are dripping from the faucets that have become my friends

the scariest part is the not knowing

my next two steps are uncertain

im edgy and odd and off centre

the way he said youre dead broke me into pieces of ash, scattered

brain, heart, soul, chest, fingertips

musings of a mad man

the worst part of town

he made the jittering begin

he detuned the radio

and asked for the static in my ears

bubbling up underneath skin

i havent grazed my shin in so long

bruises and cuts used to be a staple

but im more steady on my feet

or maybe there are less obstacles now

or maybe they all became metaphorical

she left and suddenly i was the worst one again

never able to see the suffering i most likely caused

never ever took the blame even if the evidence was in my mouth

they mustve planted it there

they mustve planted, dodgy

she made me so mediocre

in a good way

mediocre is what we are aiming for

i wouldve killed for normalcy