Never Again

A baby cries. I pick him up and hold him in my arms. He nestles his head into my chest and falls asleep. I give him a kiss on his forehead. I enjoyy this moment. Even though there will be other moments like this, soon he will take his first steps and these moments will vanish forever.

Now he is a toddler. He toddles around the house very satisfied with himself. He doesn't need me to get from one place to another anymore. He wants to learn things and do things. We play skill building games together. He chases the cat who conviently perches above his reach. The whole world is a wonder to him and he allows me to see it through his eyes but he is growing and these moments will vanish forever.

He is now attending school. He likes to watch power rangers on TV and play hide and go seek. He always wants me to be it when we play tag and I chase him around the room, almost catching him but not quite. He gigles as he thinks he can actually run faster than I can while I dramatically lament not being able to tag him. I enjoy each moment because he is still growing and these moments will vanish forever.

He just entered middle school. He is really self concious. He gets embarassed easily and doesn't want to talk about stuff. I try to explain about how to talk to girls like I'm an expert even though I'm not. But still I did manage to get married and have a child so I must have done something ok. We do watch football together on TV. We go bowling and hiking and other 'guy' stuff. It's actually pretty cool. Even though he can be agrivating, I try and enjoy these moments because they will vanish forever.

He's in high school now. He has a job and a girl friend. I don't see him much these days. I have to make more of an effort to connect with him because he has a schedule now. He has responsibilities. If I don't make the effort I would never see him. But the meetings we do schedule we talk about life and jobs and sometimes even girls. I think about how grown up he's become. He's not there yet but I can see glimpses of it. I try and enjoy these moments because they will vanish forever.

Now he's off to college. The baby I once held in my arms is all grown up. I only see him now on holiday's. I remember all the moments I had with him growing up and I wish I could have them back but they have vanished forever.