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I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, looking out to find some sort of peace and hope, but all I see is fog. Not the misty fog that is transparent. The kind of fog that no matter how hard you try, you'll never see past it. I'm just completely and uterly lost. I used to think that my childhood was taken away from me too early, that I never got to be a child. Sadly I was wrong, here I am at the age of 22 and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, wishing I could go back to my non-childish childhood. To seek the warmth of my mothers cups of teas in the middle of the night while we whisper softly to eachother about the latest gossip in our family. The days when everything seemed so hard, but actually were days I wish I treasured more at the time. I still remember tthe winter days of 2012, we went through a sort of ''phase''. Every night, after much debate between me and my sister, one of us would sneak into the kitchen and make sweet english tea and jam sandwiches. I miss those days, sitting together, bundled up in blankets just talking. These days, I'm lucky to get a phone call from them. It's as though, all that we once were, all of the memories we shared, the cups of tea with soft laughs through the night didn't exist at all. It's like we are just starngers now asking about eachothers life but with no interest at all. It's more of a formality than anything else.

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