I used to wish I was something else. That I was someone else. I chose to stand on the sidelines when given the choice. I thought it was easier to not exist then it would be to pretend to fit in. It’s funny how that kind of thing can affect you when you’re young, and without any grasp of your true identity. I used to not only think, but whole heartedly believe that I was nothing. I saw myself through a filter of indifference, and seperation from those around me. That self inflicted dissaproval consumed the world around me. It lead me straight into the dirt, where I found too many ways to destroy myself. It felt good. The self destructivness that ruled the better half of my adolesence. I didn’t escape it until I was a young adult. Slowly, bit by bit, I cut away the disaproving, and disturbing view I had on myself. I started to see things clearer. Little pieces of myself that I’d taken for granted were the same little things that had begun to define who I was. Those were the things that allowed me to find my ability to accept, and understand the woman that I was born to be.. because I found the ability to understand, and accept the person I’d always felt like inside myself. The heart, the spirit, the soul, and the mind. These pieces of the puzzle that I as a whole created. I was so unable to see the beauty in them for so long, but before I knew it, I had an epic view of the whole picture.. and even better, I had a clear view of what lay under the surface. I had a clear view of what the foundation, and the core of that puzzle were. I slowly began to appreciate, and enjoy what I was uncovering in myself. I loved the way that the patterns, and shapes, and colors were so unique, and imperfect in their own way. I loved the way that there was all this character, and all this distinctiveness in every single inch of the design. By the time I was able to put all the pieces together, I couldn’t really have cared less what the hell I was even looking at. Because it had never been the picture that’d ever even mattered. It was something so much deeper, and so much more real than any appareance I could ever see looking back at me in the mirror.

That was the moment that I grew into the woman I am today, and shed the girl I was before. The one that’d shut herself down before she’d had ever even had a chance to shine. That was the day in which I learned to love myself for the reasons that were worthwhile, and to never take myself too seriously for silly things that I’d once defined myself by.

There is so much beauty that we cannot see in other people. Those around us who just pass by, or those who we allow their flaws to be the center of our focus. There has to be room for fault. There has to be forgiveness for failure. There has to be acceptance for imperfection. There has to be gratitude for the little things. The details that so many of us take for granted. They are hidden throughout each, and every one of us. I think it’s so important to be able to look at someone, (including our own selves) as a whole.. and to be able to love them even more for their flaws, or for their differences. We are all so unique in ways that are so special, and so very beautiful.. and I love being able to see that light in every single detail of someone.