This is me...

This is me
I'm much more complicated
than what you see.
Like a book I have a cover
like my smile
that conceals the pages,
the chapters I hide inside.
I act as if I'm the most
confident,
when my walls
are crumbling.
I walk as though
I have walked
through many storms
like this.
When I see him across
the street
I wither away into
a nothingness-
I'm not good enough
Not pretty enough
Not perfect.
The scars plastered
on my arms
remind me of my strength
although the voice in my mind
tells me otherwise.
Through churning waters
I struggle to swim,
I'm barely floating.
Stopped eating to make
myself happy,
was I?
Locked myself behind doors
to cry endless tears
over someone who didn't care
let alone even knew
what I was worth.
Who am I?
Not good enough
Not pretty enough
Not perfect.
Just a girl who
wanted to be happy.
Who changed for a world that
never dared to change
for her.
A girl who gave her all
to those who came
into the chapters
she was writing,
but left even when she begged
for them to stay.
I'm breaking inside
don't you see?
I'm much more complicated
than how I seem
but I sit in the bathroom stall
trying to breath,
trying to hold on -
trying to find someone
to help me.
No one will realize
when I'm gone
because I'm the girl
who always laughs
the one who's happy
intelligent,
even beautiful
to all the others
but still doesn't see it in herself.
Not good enough
Not pretty enough
Not perfect
is what she repeats.
This is the girl who can't
hold on anymore.
This is me.