You.
How do i put you into words
when you are so much more
than the words themselves?
With the fluttering of
butterflies
in my stomach
to the smile that seems
to dance upon my face
lighting me up, up, up
like fireworks at midnight
beaneath the moonlight
and the shining of stars
where nothing else matters
except my hand wrapped
in yours -
i love you.
#love #freeverse #poetry
This is me...
This is me I'm much more complicated than what you see. Like a book I have a cover like my smile that conceals the pages, the chapters I hide inside. I act as if I'm the most confident, when my walls are crumbling. I walk as though I have walked through many storms like this. When I see him across the street I wither away into a nothingness- I'm not good enough Not pretty enough Not perfect. The scars plastered on my arms remind me of my strength although the voice in my mind tells me otherwise. Through churning waters I struggle to swim, I'm barely floating. Stopped eating to make myself happy, was I? Locked myself behind doors to cry endless tears over someone who didn't care let alone even knew what I was worth. Who am I? Not good enough Not pretty enough Not perfect. Just a girl who wanted to be happy. Who changed for a world that never dared to change for her. A girl who gave her all to those who came into the chapters she was writing, but left even when she begged for them to stay. I'm breaking inside don't you see? I'm much more complicated than how I seem but I sit in the bathroom stall trying to breath, trying to hold on - trying to find someone to help me. No one will realize when I'm gone because I'm the girl who always laughs the one who's happy intelligent, even beautiful to all the others but still doesn't see it in herself. Not good enough Not pretty enough Not perfect is what she repeats. This is the girl who can't hold on anymore. This is me.
Finally free
I want to go back
in time
to that day we met,
to all the laughs and smiles
you brought me.
Little did I know
how I would grieve
to repay you in return.
I gave you my all
I tried to save you from
your fire,
But what did I get in return?
False promises, lies that
you would change.
You’re happy now
leaving me broken,
it’s funny how you don’t
give a damn
when I was the one
who was there for you
in your darkest of days.
You use and push away
those that loved you,
I loved you.
Tears, bruises, hurt;
I thought I could trust you.
Your toxicity leeched into
my heart leaving many
marks that I can’t
seem to forget.
How do you manage
to live with yourself
knowing
That to find your happiness
you robbed somebody else
of theirs.
I’ve forgiven you
but now it’s time that I
Forgive myself
for I paint the blame
on my hands.
I want to go back in time
but I have learnt
that some
can never be saved
That I am worth much more
than just a puppet to the facade
you lead.
I am my own,
Finally free.
I forgive you
I wonder what races through your thoughts
when you hear my name.
Do you think of all the good times,
or maybe the ones where I was vulnerable?
Perhaps there's an emptiness,
or a longing hatred that you can't seem to numb.
But when I think of you, I frustrate over the past
my anger begins to coil
my thoughts begin to churn
For it is you who hurt me
and I don't think you'll ever learn.
6 months ago seems far like the horizon,
I'm not the naive girl I used to be.
I've changed since that cold Autumn day
the day where my world of dreams
and fantasies caved.
The day where you managed
to break me to a point of insanity;
unleashing the dark demons
within me.
No words of love, no encouragement;
your ignorance coated words
drove my insecurities.
Why was it that everything
lead back to you?
I wanted to forget, find
my peace and closure.
But how could I,
when your darkness echoed
in my times of doubt.
I've hurt, I've cried endless tears
over my wounds -
my scars are still here to prove
my fight against people
like you.
Through hell and back,
within the flames of regrets, pain -
through the battle that was meant
to burn me.
Through this all,
I forgive you.