For the Betterment of Sarah Williams - Chapter Four

Sarah started taking classes. It has been awhile since she took any kind of classes and it was hard for her to get into the swing of things. She tried the best she could but after a few weeks she started to feel burned out. She started to wonder what the point was. She started to wonder what the point was to anything. She started skipping classes and her mother noticed she had become listless.

Sarah had been meeting the older woman for coffee on a regular basis. The older women listened to Sarah as she went through each stage of grief. It might not seem like progress, she once told Sarah, but going through each stage is important to get through so you can finally get on with your life. The coffee meetings stopped. Sarah had given up. She didn’t see why she had to go on anymore. Of course there was the children, but she reasoned that they would adjust. There were other people who cared about Sarah but she forgot about them. She just didn’t care anymore.

The weeks that followed she decided to stay in bed. Her mother took care of the children. She got fired from her job for not showing up. She also failed her classes for the same reason. But she didn’t care about any of it. She would get out of bed to eat and then she would just go right back. The older woman sent her several texts but she didn’t answer any of them. Nothing mattered anymore. At least she didn’t feel like killing herself. She just wanted to escape from her life. So she did.

Nothing changed. Day after day it was the same thing. She would get up and eat and then she would go back to bed. Sometimes she would just lay in bed and cry. Other times she would stare at the ceiling and wonder what was happening to her. After many days she started to finally come to the place where she had completely exhausted her emotions. There was nothing left for her to feel. She didn’t feel anything. She wasn’t angry. She didn’t feel like crying anymore. She remembered her troubles but it was like the sting had been removed. She felt numb. From that point she started to think about what to do next.

Then one day it happened. It took many weeks but she finally broke through to acceptance. She had gotten to the point where she knew her husband was never coming back and that she had to get on with her life. She needed a plan. First, she would need to retake the classes at the community college to bring her grades up. Then she would need to find a job. Finally, she would need to find companionship again.