What Feeling?

I hate this feeling. What feeling? My feeling of worthlessness, The feeling that perhaps all those years of being called stupid, retarded, idiot, or even being told I’ll never do anything with my life, maybe it was all true. I hate myself sometimes, knowing that all it takes is one of my slip ups and someone gets upset, or worse: someone gets hurt. I feel like a living wrecking ball. I destroy every friendship I have. I can’t stop this feeling of worthlessness. Worst of all is my feeling of being alone. after pushing everyone away why wouldn’t I feel alone. I have to fight my battles in my mind. You wouldn’t believe the pain I’ve kept to myself. I hate the feeling of always being on the verge of eruption. The thoughts I keep to myself can’t be tamed forever. I hate how no one knows me yet at the same time don’t they. I hate how one unintended offense drives the ones I care for away. I hate how I care for those that hurt me and the feeling that I’m meant for something more and not knowing what. I hate these feelings that tear me apart and add to my graveyard of regret. I hate that I’ll never be able to trust anyone and no one will trust me. I hate these feelings. I hate them all. I want them to stop. why won’t they stop!? someone make them stop...

One day it’ll all make sense. One day I’ll see the light in the dark. One day I’ll see what this is meant for, what I’m meant for. One day I’ll be free, but until that day... I hate this feeling. What feeling? The feeling of...