knowing she would

you met a girl with her hair let down

friends around

no need to feel too shut down

with the protection surround

and some image to keep

in eyes that weren’t hers.

but if you knew inside

the knots she had to knead out

for every vocal chord plucked

by every syllable to come out

of her sultry mouth

you might be shocked

to know the panic

the twists and turns of each utterance.

the road has been long

and grows much longer still

unless she is not alone

and the padding of friends

shortens the jump

she must take to

turn up

the volume of who she is.

but you met her that way

so you don’t know how she feels.

she came to you like sunshine

and a fresh breeze

to push you along and

away from the impending doom

of tragedy that saw your belongings

scattered across the inner city ground

and leaving you no place to call

a home

yours

where you could unpack yourself

and let go of stress

decompress.

she brought you in on a whirlwind of care

and made you a place just for

yourself

a new home

a new you.

she brought out the best

the grateful

the blessed

the reason to believe again

in humanity

and the possibility

that love still exists.

she did all this and you barely knew her,

had only skimmed the surface in some

late night conversations

which were mostly about you.

but you knew she was feeling you,

an empath, with compassion

so the conversation grew,

letting stories spill out of you that you

hadn’t cared to share before to other souls.

but you didn’t know her.

why would she come to the rescue.

she must be that good at heart.

her intention only to keep you safe and from harm

and from hurt as feelings of broken trust

could erupt and damage the soul,

but she kept your faith with the strength of her actions,

overshadowing the faulty motions of others who cared not about you.

she kept you in good graces

and brought you to new places

where you fell apart a little bit,

but she scooped you back together

so quickly

never too long to build you up

make you believe in the man you were supposed to be,

the man inside without all the crosstalk

of other people’s bullshit to hang on to your heart and cast doubt

building up insecurity.

no she banished that talk,

kept that voice from resounding.

she got to know you inside and out,

because she could be trusted.

and she felt close to you,

then closer,

then she really started to let her hair down,

piece by piece,

strand by strand,

unraveling bits of her story.

and you made it easy,

cherishing those moments,

the feelings building,

the ease and the empathy..

being understood and understanding.

but then one day you just stopped caring.

got close enough... no longer daring,

it’s too much, it’s confusing,

is it love or just another potential abusing.

now she screams to be heard,

but you already turned down your heart and brought up your walls,

her voice only echoes back to herself,

reiterating what it is she already knows

because it’s obvious,

you don’t love her,

won’t love her.

doesn’t matter why or how anymore

it’s just that simple fact that will destroy her.

and how could you ride in on her gentle breeze

swim within her softened maze

and turn around and give her thunder

and hurricane

as if she wouldn’t try with her everything

to weather the storm you rage

and that’s how she became this

insecure hollow

shell of the girl that she was supposed to be,

only she has no one to save her.