Blink and You’ll Miss Me...

″...at the speed of sound.”

Typically, any words that preceed that usually make the sentence awesome, but I’m gonna tell you, I have the lamest superpower ever.

No. I can’t fly at the speed of sound, or run at the speed of sound, or even read at the speed of sound, or talk at the speed of sound. I can’t clap at the speed of sound, or eat at the speed of sound.

The only thing I can do is...

....wait for it....

blink.

That’s right.

I can blink at the speed of sound.

My mom keeps telling me that it’ll come in handy one day. Sorry, mum. I’m not convinced. She has super eyesight, dad has super speed. Why’d I have to turn out so average? It took two years of investigation for the Super Hero Committee to even determine that I actually had a power and what exactly it was. At first, they thought that my power was the ability to keep my eyes open forever; never needing to blink. That honestly would have been way cooler. But, nooooo. My eyes had the nerve to need to blink anyway, and my lids had the nerve to be the only thing on my body that posessed super speed. Doctor Gunthrey made a joke about super eyes plus super speed equals super blink. That didn’t make me feel any better.

The only time my superpower actually helped me to accomplish something was back in first grade when Yoko bet five cents I couldn’t beat him at a staring contest. I even felt bad about it afterwards because he was right all along. I couln’t even hold my eyes open longer than his ten second “all time record”.