‘‘Next.’’

I sat on the chair and handed the Lady my resume. She scanned it and asked me what my superpower was?

Should I tell her what it really is? I had a better idea. Why not go ahead and show her.

I asked her to give me a minute to get ready. She looked at me with a serious and puzzled expression.

While she waited, I snapped my fingers. That’s all it took for my superpower to come to effect.

I smiled and took a bow. She asked me what my superpower was- again. I sighed and spinned around.

Ah, it finally worked. This superpower likes to play tricks on me. She got up from her seat and clapped.

I chuckled and told her ‘‘it was nothing.’’ She then noticed that I was wearing a sunflower pattern dress. The one that she had on when I stepped into her office.

She stopped to check what she had on. I smiled. She looked great in a silver suit.

samedi, 7 septembre, 2019. ©

#Switcheroo.

I spend most of my life unseen,

Blending in.

Invisible

And unheard.

I can’t get served at the bar

As I stand

Waving my money

And half- stammering my order.

I tell stories nobody hears

Past the first two lines.

Distraction for them

Makes me disappear,

Replaced by a phone call

A shout, or a better voice.

I’m used to it now.

I used to try

To rise above

And make them see me

But not now.

Except…

Except when they need me.

When the crisis looms

Or the job needs doing

Or something unusual comes.

Then, suddenly

They see me.

I become

Mr Uninvisible,

With my Super Power of ‘being there’.

I don’t mind.

They need somebody like me.

An invisible ghost, floating through their lives.

But always

There.

″...at the speed of sound.”

Typically, any words that preceed that usually make the sentence awesome, but I’m gonna tell you, I have the lamest superpower ever.

No. I can’t fly at the speed of sound, or run at the speed of sound, or even read at the speed of sound, or talk at the speed of sound. I can’t clap at the speed of sound, or eat at the speed of sound.

The only thing I can do is...

....wait for it....

blink.

That’s right.

I can blink at the speed of sound.

My mom keeps telling me that it’ll come in handy one day. Sorry, mum. I’m not convinced. She has super eyesight, dad has super speed. Why’d I have to turn out so average? It took two years of investigation for the Super Hero Committee to even determine that I actually had a power and what exactly it was. At first, they thought that my power was the ability to keep my eyes open forever; never needing to blink. That honestly would have been way cooler. But, nooooo. My eyes had the nerve to need to blink anyway, and my lids had the nerve to be the only thing on my body that posessed super speed. Doctor Gunthrey made a joke about super eyes plus super speed equals super blink. That didn’t make me feel any better.

The only time my superpower actually helped me to accomplish something was back in first grade when Yoko bet five cents I couldn’t beat him at a staring contest. I even felt bad about it afterwards because he was right all along. I couln’t even hold my eyes open longer than his ten second “all time record”.

The lamest superpower is one that cannot be displayed to other people. It is also impractical, useless, possibly gimmicky, and uncool. Maybe you can turn white objects white.

What is a superpower? It's a personal power that only you have. It's something that only you can do, and it's supposed to be powerful and awe-inspiring.

What do superpowers do? They allow you to change things. Off the top of my head, every superpower I can think of changes something in a way that no one else can. Either it changes the power's weilder or the world around the weilder.

I would define superpowers as tools used to change the world. Maybe the tool is blunt, like the ability to shoot fire. It only burns things, and you can only use that ability for certain tasks, but it's a tool nonetheless. So I would say that all superpowers are tools.

So the lamest superpower is something that everyone can do, and it changes nothing.

Maybe you can take a Syndrome approach from The Incredibles. "And if everyone is super, no one will be." But no, I don't think that's an acceptable answer.

Could you just intuitively say that the lamest superpower is something dumb, like being able to fart louder than anyone else? Or make your arm hairs stand up on end at will?

Maybe. But I don't think so. I think it's good to look at it logically and seriously. I like what I said before: "The lamest superpower is something that everyone can do, and it changes nothing." I think it's a good rule of thumb for the "lamest superpower", and by using it, you might come up with a superpower that's unarguably lamer.

I have an idea for the lamest superpower, but it might actually be a little interesting.

So maybe the lamest superpower is one that gives you the physical abilities of the average man. Take me for example. If I had that power, it'd do nothing to me. It wouldn't change me, it wouldn't make me different from anyone else, and it wouldn't give me any advantages over weak people that I don't already have. If you give this power to a stronger man, it'd make him weaker. If you give it to a weaker man, he would certainly have experienced personal growth, but he would still have only risen to yet another level of mediocrity, albeit a higher one.

On second thought, you could say that the lamest superpower is one that makes you weaker than the average man. But I don't think so. It'd be like having an ability that gives you some sort of degenerative disease. It would be terrible, negative, and would simply suck, but I'm not sure if it falls under the category of "lame". If a guy had the ability to generate fire, but the fire burned him, you wouldn't say "lame". You'd say, "poor guy". You'd pity his poor lot in life. If you had the powers of an average man, no one would care about you. Imagine standing in a bar and declaring that you had those powers. What the heck? Who cares? It means nothing. It changes nothing. Having the physical powers of a weak man is pretty bad, but I wouldn't call it lame. But getting a superpower that designates you as average and easily overlooked? I think that's lame.

Hmm.

I think I talked too much and tried to explain too much at the end there.

Maybe instead the lamest superpower is one that you can really make fun of, and if that's the case, there's too many to list.

A lame superpower is probably flying, superspeed, or superstrength.

Whoever is reading this must be thinking, What is she saying? I would love those powers!

That’s exactly it.

There cliches.

Used over and over again, even after they dreid up.

There lame and uncool, and if everyone picked a power, these three powers wouldn’t be cool at all.

They would practicaly be unsuper.

The super power of making peanuts laugh uncontrollably. You would never know the tasty protein packed goodness was anything but a peanut treat. Captain Chuckle Nuts possesses the power to bring any peanut alive for the purpose of making them laugh hysterically. Apart of the peanut gallery some would speculate .

Captain Chuckle Nuts was born with the great power of crazy nut laughter. “An with great power comes great responsibility”. Since a child he has been secretly bringing peanuts to life just to allow them to laugh up a peanut storm. Who says jiffy was ever a laughing matter?! Well Captain Chuckle Nuts that’s who!!!! Everything form beer nuts to chunky peanut butter he has the uncanny ability to have them dying on the floor laughing like anaphylactic shock.

Captain Chuckle Nuts strikes again!!!

The bus begins to pull off when a tap is heard on the door. It's a woman boarding.

Her face crinkle's into a smile and she winks at me.

“You can see me?”

“I'm blind, you know.”

how can she see me?

How can she hear me?

Omg, she's the one!

“I can sense your presence almost like a body but much lighter a vibration you haven't found the light yet have you?”

“I've been stuck on this bus for eternity I’m trying to get a message across I've been waiting for you a blind woman who can see dead people —no offense, can you help me?”

She stands there her eyes hushed.

“Yes” she says.

“Omg thank you I just want him to know I love him and the answer is yes he’ll understand when you tell him.”

“Thank you!”

A feeing so vague yet so familiar.

LAME can’t begin to describe having dreams to dance among the stars, but being held back by the FEAR of choking on the clouds.

Knowing what keeps you fulfilled, but deciding to settle for the gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe because it’s RELIABLE and SAFE.

Yep, definitely the LAMEST superpower ever...but at least I’m a superhero

The baby was born on an unlucky day

No cry, no tear, quietly she lay,

The doctor feared, she might have died

But oh no! The grim fate denied.

A strange sensation took over everyone

And they all fell down, one by one,

The room, the building, the whole large city,

It engulfed the world in its entirety.

The juvenile power made a clean sweep,

The humanity was eternally asleep;

The greatest villain whom the world would never see,

Thus the lamest too, one could ever be.