why cant you love me like lovers do?

Because I'm ugly? But where inside or out? I'm trying to forgive myself for what you made me do!

Why can't you love me like where two oceans meet? Salty and fresh but we're just the same!

Why can't you love me like love at first sight? Your eyes dance over mines they mingle all night.

Why can't you love me like you love her? flowers and candy heads on pillows and arms intertwined eyes locked with the keys from her heart. Unfinished sentences forgetting where to start.

Why couldn't you just love me? You'll never tell me now I can't get answers from a severed head now can I?

Yesterday I saw you sitting on your bed

scratching at your sparse hairs atop your head

you got up and I was startled by the sound

since my feet hasn’t touched the ground floorboards neither

but that volume raised a recollection

How the earth or wooden surface feels like

I forgot its been so long since I heard that familiar song

Old houses and unsteady cement would make

When it tried to bare all the burdens carried by the livings weight

Though I'm non existence I carry memories

Heavy enough I’d still float in the sea

Oh, yea Where was I?

I saw you and you didn't see me but you reminded me of what living feels like when your dead inside

Now as a ghost I don't have to hide all my awful shame all my living problems cease to exist

Thought I'd write you this poem before you decided to live like this.

Okay forever I struggled with self confidence. But the older I’ve gotten I’ve better learned how to accept it. (Myself) and I have become more self confident. But I don’t know how to manage it. When I walk into a room, down a street, out the house. People are staring and I mean gawking like I have three heads (slaps head) I am not bragging or boasting I am simply trying to handle the stares and when people hit on me I don’t know what to say I’m so guarded it’s hard for me to be open to compliments I can’t take them which took work but I don’t know how to truly receive them without sweat pouring from parts that sweat lol. I just need some advice, books, tips and tricks because I am ready to walk in my confidence and receive looks and conversation without nervousness coming out in liquid instead of words. I’m not quick with my words verbally but I am written it’s so strange. But thnx. So much for the read :)

Okay so I’m on the mobile app probably didn’t get the whole memo of the challenger sorry guys :D

I started freelance writing again was a good before? Maybe. I got hired once so I guess someone believed in my work. I keep finding all these success stories about women writing their way to 7,000 to 10,000 a month from $50 a month and I just want to wake up and be one of those amongst the hard working, don’t give up women! I quit my job in 2019 and started writing then started selling candles and jewelry and other various items on Etsy and that was medium success until you realize how much you sank into a business just to get others to sink some cash into your business. Did i have a plan NO! I completely went after everything i set out to do I was ambitious but a fool with ambition. To be a fool is fine in Tarot the fool represents leaps of faith without fear and yes I was fearless in my leaps. Now 2021 I want to leap i just don’t know where. I want to write and I mean write books, articles anything that will let me express myself with my words and help others on their journey like I am. I’m intimidated by people i dont know and who i think i see. I never think to share my story or journey because I don’t think its interesting enough lol currently if i did share a snippet of my life I am pregnant with baby number 3 and I live home trying to figure out my calling thank god for my mother! I just wish there was someone i could find and talk to then i come to prose because though i express myself i feel okay after even if no one likes or comments i just hope what i wrote someone took something from it and they felt a little better about their crappy day. Well I’ve vented and i feel semi-better i want to start a blog God is that difficult lol i could write about my life and see if anyone can relate. maybe someday i will get off my desk chair and realize i have something to say and people have ears to listen. Or eyes to read i guess. This is an attempt to talk about whats bothering me so if this text is long and ranty idc if that’s a word. You know why. Thanks for reading or just skimming lol - Nijah hope your intimidation leads you somewhere less illusory.

Hello guys :D so this year I decided to do NaNoWriMo am I off to a great start let's be honest not! Have I did every single word count haha in my dreams I should be disqualified!! But I am not going to give up. I just was curious if anyone else is participating or have already and actually written a novel! If so please leave a link I would love to read I'm in that fall, book feel! Plus I know no one on nanowrimo idek how to navigate the thing to even talk to people lol so I've turned to my trusty Prosers :)

I am working on my story but there are a few loopholes I need to fill in and idk how.

Synopsis

my main character Tristan gets pregnant during a one-night stand and a month later she finds out and wants to get an abortion. When the guy Sebastian agrees to bring her the money he is in a car accident and ends up in a coma. She can't use what she has because she needs to help her father pay rent and for his medicine because of a work injury that happened a fee days prior so she has the baby.

Six months later Sebastian wakes up but he is paralyzed from the waist down. His mother needs around the clock help to care for Sebastian so she needs to find someone to hire. Rita who has worked for the family for sometime as a part-time maid also works with Tris at a diner. She asks Tris if she can use extra money so she agrees but she has no clue she will be cleaning and assisting her son's father. Which he barely remembers her because of the accident he doesn't even know she had the baby. Also he keeps waking up at the scene of the accident which isn't far from his mother's house.

FYI there are supernatural elements to this as well. His family is werewolves and she is a seer who werewolves once hunted and used for battle.

(Loopholes)

She met Sebastian through a friend at her art school Sebastian was a nude model at the school a few times in the past she found him handsome but they never conversed until they all met at the bar. His mother is a benefactor of the school hence him having friends there. He is also wealthy and part of a prominent family.

#1 She met him through a friend in her school but how do I keep my MC in the dark about him being wealthy, in a coma and the benefactors son?

#2 I need help with a prophecy Tristian and Sebastians son is a cure for werewolfism. But I need a cool prophecy to say that. Her sons name is Aiden which means Sun so I wanted to do a little wordplay as well.

#3 I have no information on seers lol I scoured the interweb and nothing really popped up some info but nothing too juicy. Does anyone have any recs? Movies? Books? articles? Anything???? A famous prophet who might have had some excellent ways of receiving prophecies and interpreting what they meant?? I only know so far she paints her dreams which are prophecies sometimes lol

#4 why would someone's werewolfism be delayed into their adult years?

Thank you soo much guys for your help lol I really want to try and participate so bad this is a challenge I need!

One last time I intake a drag of the climate

One last eternity I will witness his gaze

One last period I will shed a layer of suffering

One last moment I will know it takes seconds

to expire.

What day is it

or has it been weeks

it couldn’t be years

but i swear i can hear something

crawling in my left ear

my aches are telling me hours

one, two three,

is this a root from a tree?

its so dark in here

WHAT THE f**k happened to my hair

i need to get out of here fast

these walls are so soft though

silk maybe?

no no no I’m just crazy

or am I?

wait what’s in my eye!

okay I’ve had enough

no more of this funny stuff

WIGGLE YOUR big toe

this thing feels like a bone

wait am I even alone?

there is a string in here too

what the heck is this for

if I’m quiet enough i can hear something

is that a bell?

im buried alive what the hell!

how did i get in here?

a bell to signal the dead is undead

did i lose a bet again?

drink too much gin?

dammit must be losing my head

oh wait yeah its just All Hallows Eve

too bad no one can hear me scream

No not like petals they aren’t delicate

they go with the flow

they are good listeners

they speak every language

observing how other things work

they are patient with their growth

and don’t fall for anyone

they are adaptable to change

you can see it on their skin

their wise age transforming them

they sacrifice and leave home

so another can grow in their place

sometimes they feed others who may be hungry

they know appreciation because seasons are short

some of them have the prettiest neighbors

but they don’t need a consort

they take a risk to learn how to fly

they have heaps of faith

they are immortal because they

let go of when their ready

do it all again come spring time.

Sometimes procrastination with something else can lead to other doors we didnt even know exist until we tried something else out. Also learning multiple things at once can be a challenge but it can also be a broadening experience too. Maybe while the drummer learns something else still teach drumming to someone who might be just as passionate as the drummer is. Hope this advice is solid and can help. Your friend will find their way with or without the advice :) Your also a great friend for asking for advice for this drummer friend. Your cool too.