Now I have to remember

you as a figure of speech

words stuck in my throat

your tongue in my mouth

thoughts caught in your teeth

a figment of my imagination

intrusive penetration

a mirage on a hot fuckless day

a silhouette of a man I thought I knew.

I’m here but you didn’t invite me in. I don’t know if you can hear me but I can feel it. Can you feel it too? You came in and I saw you and I thought it went away. But you came back and you decided a was there and I thought it went away again. But you came back and I was convinced it would go away again. But it stayed and it’s still here and I want you all alone. I want to hear your voice on the phone. Tell me what you felt when we first met. Did you feel it too? Do you feel it now? How much I want you?

Who do you think we were before this life? Were you the woman and I the man? Was your skin peanut butter pigmented and mines milky? Was your hair still the color of fire? Did our children share your eyes? Did I have to wait for you to return from a great war? Did you come back? When did our eyes first meet? Will I ever even ask you all this? Or is this crush an optical illusion? A figment of my min? A secret I should keep? do you even like me?

I didn't listen

I didn't listen when you said don't go to deep

But how can I control my fall for you?

How could I expect love not to save me?

I held on to love when I leaped

I did not fall for you

I jumped

I made it all this way and dug so far

I found it behind that closed scar

Where your heart resides

But there was something else

Something sad? No mad

Something I didn't know you had

Something I didn't know I have

Something fear tried to stop

But I didn't listen

You told me what would happen and I couldn't hear the rest because I was so deep inside of you I could hear the beat

The echoes of noise, the thoughts you tried to hide the insane tucked right between the wall on the other side

how many ways can I keep you?

I can bottle you up like my emotions.

let you caress my cheeks when

you feel the need to show yourself.

Let me sit inside of you while you touch my most intimate parts.

Should I swallow you whole or sip you slow?

Let you taste me while you shower me with effection.

Or is it okay if we do this next time maybe in public

I can share you with everyone.

I leave you alone with your cold and hard as rock so I let you chill.

But I find you again when you melt in my mouth tasting your shapeless shape.

You can be unique and change when I need you to but would I do the same for you? I don't know. Maybe when you turn to snow?

I know you can be fresh so I let you take me there a little salt sometimes yes you can touch my hair.

You remain the same substance and can take any form.

I only wish I could be more flexible like you.

There is a tiny hole

Where my calendar used to be

That invitation I didn't attend

Plus one, minus one fuck you

is what I’d say to her

there still married by the way

that thing I didnt attend

maybe I should buy a new calendar

kittens or scenery?

I don’t even know what day it is

anyways

theres a hole in my heart

so big a thumb tack could fit