Three heads!
Okay forever I struggled with self confidence. But the older I’ve gotten I’ve better learned how to accept it. (Myself) and I have become more self confident. But I don’t know how to manage it. When I walk into a room, down a street, out the house. People are staring and I mean gawking like I have three heads (slaps head) I am not bragging or boasting I am simply trying to handle the stares and when people hit on me I don’t know what to say I’m so guarded it’s hard for me to be open to compliments I can’t take them which took work but I don’t know how to truly receive them without sweat pouring from parts that sweat lol. I just need some advice, books, tips and tricks because I am ready to walk in my confidence and receive looks and conversation without nervousness coming out in liquid instead of words. I’m not quick with my words verbally but I am written it’s so strange. But thnx. So much for the read :)
Okay so I’m on the mobile app probably didn’t get the whole memo of the challenger sorry guys :D
Intimidated
I started freelance writing again was a good before? Maybe. I got hired once so I guess someone believed in my work. I keep finding all these success stories about women writing their way to 7,000 to 10,000 a month from $50 a month and I just want to wake up and be one of those amongst the hard working, don’t give up women! I quit my job in 2019 and started writing then started selling candles and jewelry and other various items on Etsy and that was medium success until you realize how much you sank into a business just to get others to sink some cash into your business. Did i have a plan NO! I completely went after everything i set out to do I was ambitious but a fool with ambition. To be a fool is fine in Tarot the fool represents leaps of faith without fear and yes I was fearless in my leaps. Now 2021 I want to leap i just don’t know where. I want to write and I mean write books, articles anything that will let me express myself with my words and help others on their journey like I am. I’m intimidated by people i dont know and who i think i see. I never think to share my story or journey because I don’t think its interesting enough lol currently if i did share a snippet of my life I am pregnant with baby number 3 and I live home trying to figure out my calling thank god for my mother! I just wish there was someone i could find and talk to then i come to prose because though i express myself i feel okay after even if no one likes or comments i just hope what i wrote someone took something from it and they felt a little better about their crappy day. Well I’ve vented and i feel semi-better i want to start a blog God is that difficult lol i could write about my life and see if anyone can relate. maybe someday i will get off my desk chair and realize i have something to say and people have ears to listen. Or eyes to read i guess. This is an attempt to talk about whats bothering me so if this text is long and ranty idc if that’s a word. You know why. Thanks for reading or just skimming lol - Nijah hope your intimidation leads you somewhere less illusory.
I needs Advice :)
Hello guys :D so this year I decided to do NaNoWriMo am I off to a great start let's be honest not! Have I did every single word count haha in my dreams I should be disqualified!! But I am not going to give up. I just was curious if anyone else is participating or have already and actually written a novel! If so please leave a link I would love to read I'm in that fall, book feel! Plus I know no one on nanowrimo idek how to navigate the thing to even talk to people lol so I've turned to my trusty Prosers :)
I am working on my story but there are a few loopholes I need to fill in and idk how.
Synopsis
my main character Tristan gets pregnant during a one-night stand and a month later she finds out and wants to get an abortion. When the guy Sebastian agrees to bring her the money he is in a car accident and ends up in a coma. She can't use what she has because she needs to help her father pay rent and for his medicine because of a work injury that happened a fee days prior so she has the baby.
Six months later Sebastian wakes up but he is paralyzed from the waist down. His mother needs around the clock help to care for Sebastian so she needs to find someone to hire. Rita who has worked for the family for sometime as a part-time maid also works with Tris at a diner. She asks Tris if she can use extra money so she agrees but she has no clue she will be cleaning and assisting her son's father. Which he barely remembers her because of the accident he doesn't even know she had the baby. Also he keeps waking up at the scene of the accident which isn't far from his mother's house.
FYI there are supernatural elements to this as well. His family is werewolves and she is a seer who werewolves once hunted and used for battle.
(Loopholes)
She met Sebastian through a friend at her art school Sebastian was a nude model at the school a few times in the past she found him handsome but they never conversed until they all met at the bar. His mother is a benefactor of the school hence him having friends there. He is also wealthy and part of a prominent family.
#1 She met him through a friend in her school but how do I keep my MC in the dark about him being wealthy, in a coma and the benefactors son?
#2 I need help with a prophecy Tristian and Sebastians son is a cure for werewolfism. But I need a cool prophecy to say that. Her sons name is Aiden which means Sun so I wanted to do a little wordplay as well.
#3 I have no information on seers lol I scoured the interweb and nothing really popped up some info but nothing too juicy. Does anyone have any recs? Movies? Books? articles? Anything???? A famous prophet who might have had some excellent ways of receiving prophecies and interpreting what they meant?? I only know so far she paints her dreams which are prophecies sometimes lol
#4 why would someone's werewolfism be delayed into their adult years?
Thank you soo much guys for your help lol I really want to try and participate so bad this is a challenge I need!
Slippery
We fall into each other because we turned our backs and slipped on love we couldnt face.
Just A Moment
One last time I intake a drag of the climate
One last eternity I will witness his gaze
One last period I will shed a layer of suffering
One last moment I will know it takes seconds
to expire.
The Ringing
What day is it
or has it been weeks
it couldn’t be years
but i swear i can hear something
crawling in my left ear
my aches are telling me hours
one, two three,
is this a root from a tree?
its so dark in here
WHAT THE f**k happened to my hair
i need to get out of here fast
these walls are so soft though
silk maybe?
no no no I’m just crazy
or am I?
wait what’s in my eye!
okay I’ve had enough
no more of this funny stuff
WIGGLE YOUR big toe
this thing feels like a bone
wait am I even alone?
there is a string in here too
what the heck is this for
if I’m quiet enough i can hear something
is that a bell?
im buried alive what the hell!
how did i get in here?
a bell to signal the dead is undead
did i lose a bet again?
drink too much gin?
dammit must be losing my head
oh wait yeah its just All Hallows Eve
too bad no one can hear me scream
Outside my house
No not like petals they aren’t delicate
they go with the flow
they are good listeners
they speak every language
observing how other things work
they are patient with their growth
and don’t fall for anyone
they are adaptable to change
you can see it on their skin
their wise age transforming them
they sacrifice and leave home
so another can grow in their place
sometimes they feed others who may be hungry
they know appreciation because seasons are short
some of them have the prettiest neighbors
but they don’t need a consort
they take a risk to learn how to fly
they have heaps of faith
they are immortal because they
let go of when their ready
do it all again come spring time.
Drums are cool
Sometimes procrastination with something else can lead to other doors we didnt even know exist until we tried something else out. Also learning multiple things at once can be a challenge but it can also be a broadening experience too. Maybe while the drummer learns something else still teach drumming to someone who might be just as passionate as the drummer is. Hope this advice is solid and can help. Your friend will find their way with or without the advice :) Your also a great friend for asking for advice for this drummer friend. Your cool too.
The Thing
“Joe?”
“Come on we don’t have much time their coming,”
“Joe, Are you using it again?”
“I’m sorry I had too,”
“Come on now!”
“Where have you been? It’s been two years since the accident and i don't see or hear from you in 12,”
“Get in here and shh, i’ll be back”
“God what the hell am I doing in my goddamn clo-”
“What the hell was that,Joe?”
”AHH”
“Come on now before they see us”
“Joe, where the hell are we going now?”
“Joe STOP, I will not take another step until you tell me what the hell is going on-”
“There is no time take this and run now, don't look back i’ll be in a better place you’ll understand later just run, Erica I love you and tell mom she’ll be fine”
“What? I don't want this, this is the reason you're in this mess you never listen to me!”
“Protect it don't let them find it,”
“God what now?”
“Hey mom I can’t talk right now-”
“Erica I have some bad news honey,”
“Mom. what? What’s going on-”
“It’s Joe honey she’s...she’s dead, her landlord he... he found her,”
“Mom, that's impossible she was just here she…she…saved....me,”
“She gave me…,”
“Honey i’m so sorry,”
I’m Sitting On A Rock
Found my tears in the middle of a drought
Found my peace in the dark
Because we don’t always need to see what’s right in front of us
Found my temporary pleasure
Because my pain is just in remission
Stopped eating other peoples problems
And talking a lot of shit
I found my bliss at the top of my pen
Tips of my fingers
Ending the never beginning story
Side note lol I’m literally sitting on a rock and writing this. Water is so peaceful.