Straight and Narrow.

Who doesn't love public speaking? Oh, none of you? What's the difference between it and a well rehearsed presentation of information to a friend? Probably the idea that it's open to more eyes, minds, ears, and mouths. In all actuality, the presentation of information is much more formal, dressed to impress, as is it's deliverer in the public sense. Although I always psych myself up before doing this, I always have a nervous reaction due in-part that the subconscious doesn't like it.

It's similarly displayed sometimes here, even if it is in writing. I walk in, with ideas and sometimes a completely blank slate, then present it to a room of savants and hope that I'm not going to the shredder or worse. I enjoy it when it's completed because it truly relieves the pressure that mounts in the mental and psychological build-up. I can't describe the release in terms that would give it accurate representation but I suppose maybe that it is represented similarly to a workout.

I usually will adhere to "tunnel vision" in this format because in trying to get too crazy (as if I weren't) I generally de-rail the thought's train. In reviewing the piece, I'll see this and know many things must be reconsidered or the jury of my peers will see it as a simple emptying of the mouth, and not a painting of the thought. My intimidation comes in knowing that it's going to take the combination of my strongest confidence and a deep dive into the pit of my brain's many trenches and valleys.

I do not apply the idea of "envisioning my audience in their underwear" , I really don't know how that idea ever even came about, perhaps as a way of saying they're all human? In either capacity , I know that I don't pitch my ideas to the uneducated or the unknowing. I like to think of myself in a lion, but in these areas there are prides determining if I'm fit to run with or if I merely present the prey they need to sustain their being and produce things far greater.

It's intimidating, it always has been. It is daunting, it will never change. I just...dig my feet in, grab my subject matter, and let it be known that I take it seriously and am able to integrate many ideas into more than just a blobby, blundering context.

I am not a professional. I am not an amateur. I believe that intimidation is a great means to find your best self and make your best work. If it was easy, everyone would do it. It is hard, hence, sometimes glass is broken and sometimes diamonds are formed from its pressure.