Last dates

Throughout my earlier recovery I was very active in Narcotics Anonymous. I was in my mid- twenties when I found a higher power - my children at the time - and I had recently moved out of a halfway house, had an apartment of my own and worked at a treatment center as an admissions coordinator. The NA principles were very important to how I structured my life and how I allowed others to treat me, but when you are early in recovery - it seems a high percentage of us would rather defocus from our own issues and turn to sex and relationships. There was a lot of dating inside and outside the rooms and it didn’t always end well.

There was this super sexy older man that had moved from Cali to WV due to work and all the females were drooling over him nonstop. My brother passed away and I was at a vulnerable state when sharing in meetings and this man decided to go to my sponsor and best friend at the time and ask for permission to ask me out on a date. I had never spoken more than a couple words to him before so it was weird that he wouldn’t atleast come to me first. I was very hesitant at first but I trusted these two women with my life and decided to go for it.

It all began with an NA meeting we were supposed to meet at but he called me right before and said his truck wasn’t in the best shape and needed to ride with me. I picked him up at a mutual friend’s house and we went from there. After the meeting, he was supposed to take me out to dinner and a movie which ended in me renting the movies from Redbox with my own money, driving my own car, and he getting a $5 pizza.

Little did I know but he was leaving for CA the next day for a job and would be gone for a week or so. While we were eating and watching some cheesy horror movie, he told me this and we were having some awkward silent moments on my living room floor. I already knew I wasn’t going to have sex with him so when the movie was over I asked if I could take him home. He then told me he was actually staying in his boss’s home currently and it would be easier if he could just spend the night. I am a free spirit so this didn’t immediately alarm me - I just thought I am using my sponsor as an excuse not to let him in my pants. He was super sexy but what I had always felt was a sense of doom around him before and now I knew he was pretty much broke and probably lying about the CA job and a secret drug dealer. (I never confirmed this until many years later - but he was definitely using drugs at the time.)

We ended up in my bed, trying to sleep next to eachother, and ended up making out. It didn’t go further than that and awkward cuddling, then the next morning I took him to his truck. He immediately grabbed my hand in the car and didn’t let go of it until he got into his truck. I felt so weird because as I had slept next to him the night before I had a nightmare in which he would not leave me alone and had tried to shoot me.

Later that day I got a text from him, along with about 35 missed calls, until I had to block his number and his account on facebook. The text told me that I was going to have sex with him when he came back to town, I had no choice- sponsor or not. He had dropped a weird “I knew where you lived” when we had initially pulled up at my home the night before so this text alarmed me greatly with my previous dream. About a year later we ran into eachother at eating after the meeting and he apologized for how he acted and said he hoped we could be friends - I haven’t seen him since.

What is it with older guys?

I had been talking to another NA male online for a couple weeks - he was in his late 40s and I was 25 at the time. I had pink and purple hair, three lip piercings, an eyebrow and nose ring and my tattoos and he was a church going fellow. When we met up, we met at Wendy’s and ate then walked to the park. In the park he told me how weird it was for him to be on a date with me and he wasn’t sure if he could date a “punk” girl. I laughed it off, telling him he was judging me and to let it go, and we ended up departing shortly after - no kiss, nothing.

Later that week he messaged me on messenger that he had went to a sex shop and got me and him a gift. (He got himself a pocket pussy, Idk what he got for me).

This was disturbing and lols and you go ahead and keep it wasn’t getting anywhere - so I had to block this guy too. A couple weird AA meetings but that was all I experienced with him after that.