3rd hour of the day

it's 3am and I can't sleep. I wish I could. All I can see is the failure. I see myself falling, only falling, and I see the rope. The rope that strangled him. The rope that strangled her. The rope that strangled everyone I loved. The rope in my hands. MY hands. Everyone I loved, gone, by my doing. The alarm clock is so loud. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. TICK. I materialize a rope. I start to tie a noose. I put my head through and tie the end of the rope to the hook on the wall, and step off of the bed. It's 3am. I can finally sleep.