Standing in the shower thinking...

Still dripping wet from

tears on the inside,

I fight to find a

place in my throat,

where the guilt horror fear disbelief

selfishness lies

can harbor for

just the right amount of time

that it will take

for this flash of

Painsight

to shred itself down onto these pages,

and then disappear harmlessly

into the vapor which has been

behind the sturdy shield of

blissful malignance,

shallow self-deception,

and careless, wanton emptiness

cultured all in this hotbed of cruelness

that is me.

Ahhhh, it's gone,

left a little behind in the back of

my conscience,

tucked into the soft spot

of my throat,

where the vulnerability is the hardest

to ignore

whenever I try to swallow this,

which has been

shoved

down

deep.