Chapter 14 of 21

anarosewood

Worlds Colliding

Chapter 14 of 21

anarosewood

those blazing threads

I stand helpless,

a familiar desire seeping

into my veins,

that desire to watch something burn.

― Chelsea Ichaso, Little Creeping Things

Doors open and close almost silently, floorboards creaking slightly as a wounded hand shifts carefully against the banister battling three flights of countless stairs that seem to have no end. Clenching her teeth tightly, she moves up steadily, one dragged step at a time, lungs moving with difficulty. As if she was climbing a mountain in the dead of winter, trying to breathe at an altitude dangerously high above sea level, reaching Everest with a damaged body, beaten by the freezing cold. And not, moving through the thick, stuffy air of a summer evening. Why did she feel so cold? Did that explosion kill all warmth in her somehow fragile veins? Was she vulnerable now to utter destruction, not just of the world around her but the frail flesh covering her brittle bones? Mmm, not in this existence, little girl.

Not... in... this one.

She groans, grimacing as she does so, the air filling with ripe, succulent insults coming out of her mouth. She relishes in every word as it seems to bring her some relief, enjoying the venom dripping from the tip of her tongue.

It was just a test, nothing more. Simply a new trial to become even stronger. Powerful beyond compare. No, this unexpected obstacle was not going to defy her efforts. She worked far too hard for all of it to just turn to ash and burned expectations. Nearly three solar cycles of star born existence would not go to waste*. Reaching the age of 33 in barely six years would have made her much more powerful, the new sun cycle heating her veins in anticipation for the black-feathered warrior. But this new turn of events had changed everything, almost shifting her off course. Almost. She breathes out with a whistling sound, throat closing as she starts to cough, small spots of red coloring the lips. Such an explosion could not have left her without consequences, and she was definitely feeling them now. Why didn’t she just let him carry her upstairs? Why? Why was she so damn stubborn sometimes, ruled by her ego and undefeated pride.

Her teeth clench together as she moves slowly forward. Because that’s how she was raised and instructed from the moment that she started to comprehend words and everything others wanted from her. Things that they expected and that were not to be discussed with, the weight of her people’s future resting on those strong shoulders. Strong. She almost spits the word out one letter after another, each syllable tasting bitter in her mouth, tasting of rust. Finally, she reaches the door to the apartment and closes it heavily behind her, knocking off the grey boots and stumbling into the bathroom, needing to know. To count the damages as if touching battle scars that she had earned thanks to that puny, mortal creature that did not even comprehend her own powers.

Well, good - she thinks and winces as she straightens her back, something definitely damaged in the shoulder blades area and the lower spine, a sharp notion hurting her lungs with every deeper breath. Mmm, this will make her better, tougher; every demolished part of her body a lesson learned, each injury and wound a silent proof that she could survive all. And every obstacle crushed, separately.

Involuntarily, she stares at the reflection in the mirror, looking heavy at the burned, flamed parts on her face and shallow but open cuts. And then her stare falls to the raggedy lines on her hands, dry blood and dirt covering the skin. As if she had already smashed into the glass surface before her, leaving her in this damaged useless state.

Damn it!

Anger erupts in her, fury sizzling and licking her veins with deadly eagerness. She throws everything off the top of a narrow matte glass shelf placed under the mirror and listens to it all tumble down, crashing onto the elegant, deep blue and white mosaic floor, panting like crazy until the only thing that she can think of is spitting out her lungs. Feeling an echo of a hollow sob wake up to life in her chest, causing the skin on her back to crawl, her left arm wrapping around the ribs as if that could stop it, preventing stained-filled sadness that she could not comprehend. The sensation alien to her and too overwhelming to handle. If she had enough strength in her fingers, she would crush that mirror and plunge a shard from it into her side, only so she didn’t have to feel the silent cries pressing under her ribs. It’s nothing. All of this is nothing. Just an obstacle, she needed to heal. But she couldn’t do that as long as the hidden strings remained bound so tightly. There was only one remedy to use for now.

Gradually, she maneuvers through the mess littering the floor, small pieces of ceramic and glass crunching under her bare feet and scraping against the skin. She doesn’t even flinch, barely noticing any discomfort, mind unfocused with thoughts swimming in hazy, flickering waves. As if in some strange kind of state. Light, electricity, and the body of water trapped in one soul, creating dangerous connections while her muscles lead her forward. All of her conscious thoughts, focusing on mundane tasks.

Without rush, she heads to the kitchen, walking up to the sink and pouring cold water over her wounds, hissing violently as the soap reaches under the dirt, dried blood, and still fresh ragged cuts. The water running down and coloring the stainless steel with faded crimson before it disappears in the drain. She groans and scrubs the sink until it’s spotless, ignoring the pain and fires licking the inside of her veins. Wet hands leaning against the edges of the cupboard and letting the water drip to the floor while her chest falls and raises with effort. All is well, and all will be well. No other option.

Ten minutes later, she sits on the sofa, legs crossed in the position of a lotus flower, slowly sipping the still-hot liquid, blowing on the steam, and inhaling the soothing smell of the herbs. Eyes closed, she feels the connection loosen, allowing her to very slowly heal the injuries and pained fractured parts, not only of the body but also within her tattered being. Treating the soul with a kindness that it deserved, her energy steadily finding its way to the rusted veins and bone-frosted structures.

Time passes by, and her eyes are still closed, the evening turning to the deep inky night without her even noticing. Her state peaceful, the body hardly moving, lost somewhere in the whispers of the endless matter, and the pulsating energy, moving in everything that exists. Eventually, there is a heaviness in her limbs, body shifting and gently falling, curving into a ball on the sofa and melting away into sweet, thick nothingness. Something that she silently craved for since all of this began. Even the demolishers of worlds deserved a chance to breathe sometimes. She smiles faintly as peace around her pulls her in deeper, fragments of images and visions coloring her tired state.

_ _ _

Silence and cold under the bones. Stillness before the first day of us. Bursts of light on the edge of the spectrum, fading in hollow shadows. The universe, coming into new life between the sighs of always dying stars.

Those fingers, gliding attentively against the fragile skin and learning love, a thumb sliding slowly and rubbing against a slightly arched black feather that curves under the exposed soft line of the breast... all mine for taking, and for no one else. NO ONE.

Wanting hands playing against her ribs and then grabbing the sides, pulling her body up gently to me, letting lips run against the fragile flesh, that cool skin against my raging fires, hearing moans fill the dusk stained space around them.

Lilly, run.

This will consume you.

Echos of words whispered into my ear as I hold her, the air in those lungs escaping her lips without my consent. But I get lost in her, moving down and kissing each rib separately, and reaching her stomach. The skin there softer than petals on a winter rose.

Hush, don’t speak.

Our time is countless.

I feel stars expanding under the fingertips, her flash rising and falling under my touch. So tangled up in flames and hunger, that’s what I have become because of her untamed soul.

This chaos in me...

That voice, it haunts me as everything fades out around me; the white sheets, the room, the world. It’s only at the last moment that I notice what I have missed till now. My hands are on fire as she lays under me, blazing and turning into destruction, ragged embers to match the endless sapphire light that brought me to life.

...will end us all.

Sharp black feathers that I cannot touch cut against my body and slowly turn to smoke, clinging to the skin and swallowing all light, that thick layer of haze and smothering ash stealing the air out of my lungs.

Always so oxygen-deprived, Lilly.

When will you learn that all blackbirds devour flesh? Listen to her as she whispers to you before death. Listen and repeat child, hear the voice lost in eternal ice.

You and me.

My soul.

My shadow.

We are the beginning, and we will be the end.

_ _ _

Heart pounding, she sits up, almost breathless, then slips down to the floor and rolls her form into something strained, somethings crumbled. As if a child that is overwhelmed by the tides of fear and helplessness. Swimming in waters that are too strong for its fragile frame. Yet, she was no innocent, and fragile notions were not apart of her nature. Such idiocies will not be tolerated. Slowly, she stands up and brushes off the remains of her sleep, still caught up in the nightmare but already gaining control and power over the situation, a steady foundation built into her core.

Dreams and nightmares were the same, no matter how they felt and what flavor they tasted off. Light, dark, tangy, sticky, or sweet. The tone of it was not of too much meaning. Dreams were designed as massages waiting to be deciphered. Though, in this case, it was a warning. Don’t ever get attached, and never mistake the passion of the soul with the one mixed with the mortal flesh. She will cause you doom, grinding your bones to dust.

Don’t develop feelings for anyone, Lilly. It’s not your place to do so. You are here to conquer and defeat our enemy. Everything else is just a distraction.

Words without emotions from the past repeated by her mother still ring in her ears as she comes over to the kitchen counter and lifts the phone, listening to three rings as always before the call is answered.

What needs to be done?

Visit Wren and tell her I’m going to need more herbs soon, they’re running out faster than was assumed.

Of course, anything else?

Yes, Ramsey. But I can do that on my own.

A few cracks on the line and then a calm voice filling the sudden silence, even though he knows it’s risky.

Boss?

Be out with it, Ramsey. I won’t bite unless you ask.

Darkness and sweetness drip from her words and she hears him clear the throat, smiling at him despite the circumstances.

How is your state? Will you need any assistance?

It’s getting better, and it will continue to do so. So your help will not be needed, for now.

The tone is stern, and the owner’s voice able to cut through steel like hot caramel.

Understood.

Good. Now, how is the situation? Were there any new developments?

No, it was quiet, the last 12 hours. But I am keeping constant surveillance on the cafe owner’s house, the apartment, and the working space location.

Always so efficient, it’s what I like about you. Well, that and your threatening appearance.

She gets lost in thought as she crosses the living room back and forth, mind lost somewhere between all the issues that demanded her attention. Mmm, she needed to see her again, to inspect the shadow that’s been occupying her nightmares and thoughts. She hears the sound of someone clearing their throat from afar and looks down at the phone, distracted. She picks it up and speaks with a low tone.

There will be some things, after all, that will require your assistance.

Whatever is needed will be done.

Perfect.

___

I watch her intently as she lays on the grass, arms, and legs spread wide, soaking in the sun. She seems so at peace, but her curling fingers give her away. For the first time, I am glad that I took the herbs out of a free will and did not fight their blessings. As even in my muted state, I still feel her energy so clearly, with such intensity that I can practically taste it on the tongue. It’s both bitter and sweet, with a mix of spices that I can’t exactly name, but the flavor deep underneath is what makes my skin itch from the inside, making me want to burn. It’s a sharp taste of destruction and pain but embraced in something soft. The aftertaste of emptiness and void marked in the most tender of lullabies. The final annihilation.

It’s her.

The words tumble out of me in a hushed whisper, air catching in my lungs, the obviousness of the situation hitting me hard. As if a ton of bricks falling out of nowhere, straight from the sky.

It’s always been her.

Slowly, I take a few steps back, stumbling a bit as I do so, suddenly not sure what I was thinking or feeling. What is this world that I was born into? Is destiny teasing me now in such a wicked way? Why does nothing fit in the map so carefully drawn out for me with such preciseness, with thick golden threads and crimson ambers colored by lifetimes of blood and destruction? My legs finally give in, and I fall on the grass, just on the edge of the forest, fingers grabbing my head and then slipping through my hair. Why was I fighting this for so long if everything in the universe lets me know she is the one meant for me? The one that will be my final breath of life before all crumbles and turns to ashes.

Numbly, I watch as she sits up and stretches her neck to the sides, yawning and doing few turns of her torso, then gets up and starts to jog through a path that leads out of the garden and into the forest, gradually gaining more and more speed. My stare follows her with disturbing fascination, watching as her muscles tense and flex, determination visible in every move that she takes. Facial expression focused as just for a second looks back as if the wind whispered her name, and looking at me. I freeze for a moment but am fully aware that she doesn’t see me, as I am too far away for her weak human eyes. Even if humanity was only a part of that nature, darker things, still screaming to be let out. Gently, I exhale. Those demons would stay dormant for now, as fear still sips through her veins, letting her breathe with oxygen she was born with and coloring that heart with empathy and kindness. For now. No one truly knows what she can become, and it was her job to not let it get that far.

The determination that was visible on the girl’s face now fills her lungs and chest as she lifts up and stands there, legs spread wider, her form growing with strength. Alright then, let’s see if I can become stronger before our last kiss goodnight, darling.

Whatever happens, there’s no point to go out without a bang, right?

A heavy, sticky smile covers her lips as she ventures back to the car, opening the door and this time sliding in without any difficulty, energy in her growing. Blue sparks dancing under the fingertips as she taps against the dashboard, something in her coming back to life after a very long time.

Ready boss?

Oh yes, Ramsey. Definitely.

The index finger of her left hand glides to the side, and the radio station unexpectedly changes without any help, a song filling the inside of the car. She smiles once again as the words and melody vibrate through her skin and muscles, reaching her bones. She lets it take over her completely.

Ain’t got no place to call a home

Only chains and broken bones

Ain’t got no place to call a home

So come on Lord, won’t you take me now?

Ain’t got no place to call a home

Only chains and broken bones

Ain’t got no place to call a home

So come on Lord, what you waiting for?

Oh, the devil’s going to make me a free man

The devil’s going to set me free

The devil’s going to make me a free man

The devil’s going to set me free