What to do when it all falls apart
1. Bury yourself in blankets, preferably clean, warm ones.
2. Sleep. Sleep to forget everything.
3. Consume a large amount of melted cheese.
4. Make fifteen pots of tea. Forget to drink them.
5. Cry until you can’t breathe. Cry to breathe again.
6. Find chips (Wise Hot Cheese Popcorn). Buy an infinite amount. Ingest them all. You will find yourself in a 14-hour food coma. Cherish the oblivion you’ve created.
7. Find a carton of freezer-burn Neapolitan ice-cream. Eat all the chocolate. Curse the end of chocolate. Eat all the vanilla. Curse the strawberry. Eat all the strawberry.
8. Open Voice Memos app. Scream into phone for five minutes. Listen to playback.
9. Cry until you can’t breathe. Cry to breathe again.
10. Use the underside of your palm to graze death. Decide if you like or hate its touch.
11. Sleep. Sleep to forget everything.
12. Dream yourself a beginning.
13. Wake up to prisms flooding your room. Remember the world creates rainbows.
14. Breathe deeply for the first time since birth.
15. Go outside.
16. Come back in fifteen minutes later. It was too soon.
17. Cry until you can’t breathe. Cry to breathe again.
18. Take a hot shower and drown yourself in its warmth.
19. Spread yourself on the bed, starfish style. Remember how much you like the ocean.
20. Book a trip to the Faroe Islands.
21. Never come back.