1. I don't need to waste resources on any type of filter anymore, and I have had far too many bad days with you in it now, than without for my liking. You only brew negative nostalgia Mr. you’ve also ruined coffee for me; you trash.
2. 'I'm sorry I can only turn you on for two hours at a time'
3. "Why yes sir, Mr. Coffee I sure will poison the decaf and not tell the others"