I no longer love you

You think you can keep abandoning me, come and go as you please, because shit hit the fan, and you went running in displease?

I am here to tell you, NOT ANYMORE! You damn fool!

You are not the meaning of love, according to Webster that dictionary I read. You abuse this beautiful word, such shame to feel, such shame to see. I will not beg like a peasant for your heart to beat in tune with mine. I have loved you unconditionally for over eight years, more than I ever gave myself and more than you deserved. Stealing my kindness like a theif in the night, while you stand in front of me, blind, closed-mind to the obvious, like an elephant in a room. I was slowly rotting, wasting away, nearly to my heart's core. Awakening to my scream of horror "you will never hold me back, no more." Somewhere along the way, we ruined each other, and began playing pretend, just to not feel lonely, even though I was always lonely in your arms. Sex became a chore, and, I really hate chores. I rather be making love on a beach, but, it became a lousy chore and porno became your whore. I'm taking my self worth back, you selfish ex lover. How dare you make me feel like a cowardly lion, no courage to stand up to you, when my naked feet ache to be on solid ground, you just kept pounding me down and belittling me. No longer will I fumble my words with this tongue that speaks to you. That feeling of dread my entire being felt, knowing you were coming home after work, each day, it was deathly sickening, like poison puncturing my veins. In prayer position, I prayed to my all mighty God, but, he asked me to stay, I disobeyed, I can longer take this, I prayed again, this time for forgiveness, and I forgave myself for the strength to finally write you this. I took that forgiveness and stuck in the back pocket of my jeans, it was safe now. Eight years of toxicity, pride, ego and spite will eventually take a toll on the human psyche - be aware and watch out, you become blinded by all his lies and insecurities. Funny thing is, you never saw me as your equal, I come from the trailer and trash, while you come from wall street, the only true difference is, I'm made of love - while your built on self hate. I have lost my fucking mind again - my cranium all twisted in knots, bellowing in my gut. Truth is, you can't ever come back, not no more, honestly, I'd rather die by suicide then let you back home, where you keep burning bridges that are beyond repair, not even therapy could help us now, we can't even save ourselves from this disaster we created, I call hell.