Not Enough

There are not enough hours

to explain to everyone that deserves to be told.

I've got a hand clasped over my mouth

--ghostly, familiar, my own--

And a fishtank for a brain, just

Holding it all in, swimming

Round and round and round

Let go, for a moment, breathe

--but there's no time, no time, no--

You should know . . . but I cannot

Possibly say it, spill it, leak . . .

--round and round and round--

To the one I might have had

Wrapped around my finger,

And my mother who doesn't

Know the difference, and

The boy I fell in love with

A million times over and

The girl I could have held

Onto forever and a day,

--i'm terrible, i'm cruel, i'm lying--

To myself I was lying

To them, I didn't have the time

Forgive me, I didn't have

--take one last breath, say it--

Time, running round and

--round and round and--

You won't know

Because to you I'm

Just

Normal enough