"I've been in some tight corners a few times now, but one time five years ago now takes the cake. I had been hired to help guard a cargo ship headed for the Island of Pardina. It was actually a really smooth trip until we reached port. Turns out the cargo included a bunch of black market spell components the crew was trying to smuggle in with the spices. I ended up in a dungeon cell, but you will not believe who my roommate was.

She was this gangly little human girl, must have been about 12 years old. She had long, matted up curly hair, so I knew she'd been there a while. She had a bunch of tattoos; I counted at least fifteen just on her left arm. I figured she must be some kind of magician because they had her in power limiting ropes; you can always tell because they glow a bit. 

The first thing I did was ask what she was in for. She looked at me for a second, then stared at the floor again. So when I got the chance I asked the guard. He just snorted and ignored me.

'She's a sparkcaster you idiot!' rang out a voice from the cell across the hall. It took me a second, but I realized it was one of the sailors (Veana) who had gotten me into this mess. She always had a mouth on her, but she was the type who didn't like people talking back if you know what I mean.

'What's a sparkcaster?' I asked.

Veana snorted. 'Don't even know that? Most people need spells or a wand or something to use magic. Sparkcasters don't. She's probably in here because she got mad and set someone on fire. All the better I say, magicians are weird enough anyway, but sparkcasters give me the creeps. Better off locked up, and if it were up to me I would --'

I stopped listening. If it were up to Veana anyone she didn't like would be locked up or worse.

Anyway, I was still there a week later because my trial kept getting pushed back. Can't quite remember whether it was because they were investigating a corrupt judge or because a merfolk tribe was getting antsy. But that morning, my cellmate finally said something.

'They'll kill you unless you let me out.'

I stared at her for a second.

'Didn't you hear me? You'll need to let me out, or they're gonna kill you.'

'Who exactly will kill me?'

She was staring at the ground again. Before I could ask what she meant, I heard someone running down the hall, then clanging noises, then screams. Soon enough, a rather mangy group showed up in front of my cell. A couple had swords, on was carrying a club. One guy looked like he was in charge; he was missing a couple teeth and had a spiked chain. He stopped in front of my cell.

'Well, well, who do we have here? Is that a warrior who sent me to this dump in the first place?'

That's about when I realized I knew exactly who these guys were. They were a group of pirates who had attacked a passenger ship I was guarding. It was a month before; I had forgotten they got sent to Pardina. I hoped he didn't quite remember the part where I beat him by wrapping him in his own chains. What did he call himself? Erik the Destroyer?

'Guess you're not as high and mighty as you let on if you're here. What was that you told me? "Evil always gets tangled up in itself?"'

Crap. He remembered all right.

'Fellows, why don't you open the door for this lady? I'd love to chat with her more.'

I did some mental math. Five of them, one of me, and they had weapons. This might not end well. Unless... 

They unlocked the door, and one of the guys with swords rushed me. I dodged, grabbed his sword, and kicked him into Erik. Before they could do anything else, I cut through the ropes binding my cellmate. Then, of course, she just stood there.

On the plus side, I at least had the sword. The guy with the club swung at me, but I jabbed him in the leg. Unfortunately Erik managed to get in a hit with his chain. That let one of his goons get behind me, but I ducked and he hit the guy with the club. That made him mad, and he managed to knock me over. I thought I was done for but then:

'Hey, I feel better now.'

My cellmate unleashed a blast of energy. Everyone not on the floor got knocked down, and most of the ceiling in the cell caved in, as well as some in the hall. I got pinned by debris; luckily the pirates were in no condition to come after me. I must have hit my head because everything got fuzzy, but I do remember on thing before waking up.

'I was in here because I accidentally did that to an empty house. Sorry I can't stick around, they'd get mad at me again...'

Luckily the guards dug me out before long. They let me go after that, something about helping to foil an escape attempt. Veana managed to talk her way out to; she convinced the court she had no idea the crew was smuggling stuff in. Never mind the cache that was found in her bunk. Anyway, she took a chance to gloat before I headed back to the mainland.

'What'd I say about sparkcasters? I can't believe you'd let that loony out, but how did she thank you? She dropped the prison on your head! If it were up to me--'

'Veana?'

'What?'

'Shut up.'"