Greetings from planet Croydon

dear earthlings!, our lasers are pointed not at you but at your nickel-iron m9lten core, which is about 15 thousand kilometers deep. We intended to extract this metal for ourselves . the lasers will vaporize all that will come in its way, skicing the planet ever so gently in two. Be not alarmed by the oozing of massive amounts of magma that will come out. We are doing this with great care and precise planning to avert any danger to our staff. All of croydon will benefit from this overflow of cheap, molten readily available metal, for which to cast our hopes at launching the great fleet of taxis we have envisioned. All (within the london area) will know of our nickel, is it rolls along streets. As we drill, we invite our frinds to peer down at the glowing, gasseus core, just watch your step, be sure to avoid any outbursts of discrage, as temperature may rise to 5000°C. But with reasonable precautions, there is absutely no reason why we can't mine the core OR the mantel, while still enjoying a flourishing cultured life upon the crust. For those of you who wish to book rides between crumbling tectonic plates, we guarentee that our taxi services are second to none when it comes to safety, speed and confort, as befitting the basic rights of all who call Croydon their home.