TwitterName.rtf
I updated my Twitter name recently:
Alex is Writing Again.
I wanted it to say:
Alex is sad again
Alex doesn't recognize their own face
in photos anymore
Alex doesn't know if they ever knew
just what it is they look like.
I wanted it to say:
Alex feels like a salted slug
sometimes
Alex just wants to feel okay
again.
The only thing Alex knows anymore
is their own fucking name,
one they chose,
took for themself,
after hacking words
to pieces.
It's the only thing of Alex's
that feels like Alex
anymore.
Alex is Writing Again.
Or rather, they're trying to,
when they can unspool the words,
tangled like matted hair,
each sentence combed out,
fingers cramped around the brush.
The more creative they are,
the more the salt rains down,
but it's better than hours spent
staring into mirrors,
desperate for recognition.