Wisp
There will come a time
(many moons from now
it must be hoped)
when small body will
rest a final time,
when warm pelt grows
cold
and jubilant purr becomes
empty echo.
On that day,
I will hold you
closer than angels.
(It is a sadly mortal thing
to love a pet so dearly
to mourn dear companion
before their departure.)
Tonight, however,
you are too young
to consider your own mortality.
You have not yet
touched every toy
in velveteen paws.
Tonight, you are small
and lovely
and oh so precious.
Oh ghost-in-reverse,
dearest spectre yet unmade,
won't you please press soft,
wet nose into my cheek,
sing me the endless hum
of your happiness.
TwitterName.rtf
I updated my Twitter name recently:
Alex is Writing Again.
I wanted it to say:
Alex is sad again
Alex doesn't recognize their own face
in photos anymore
Alex doesn't know if they ever knew
just what it is they look like.
I wanted it to say:
Alex feels like a salted slug
sometimes
Alex just wants to feel okay
again.
The only thing Alex knows anymore
is their own fucking name,
one they chose,
took for themself,
after hacking words
to pieces.
It's the only thing of Alex's
that feels like Alex
anymore.
Alex is Writing Again.
Or rather, they're trying to,
when they can unspool the words,
tangled like matted hair,
each sentence combed out,
fingers cramped around the brush.
The more creative they are,
the more the salt rains down,
but it's better than hours spent
staring into mirrors,
desperate for recognition.
You’re Not a Martyr, You’ve Just Got the Complex
Fair Narcissa,
all your beauty could not be contained
in the shallow pools you peered into.
You saw your darkness beneath the surface,
called it a new name in your folly.
You washed yourself clean with filth,
dubbed yourself baptized and saved,
without ever living the grace you preached.
Hypocrite Narcissa,
the fruits of this world could never be enough
for you.
You plucked from giving trees on endless loop,
blaming nature once you'd taken too much
instead of your greedy hands.
Cowardly Narcissa,
praying endlessly for ascension,
begging to escape a world you could not control.
You sought peace in the chaos you caused,
blamed it when you couldn't sleep,
blind to your own misdeeds.
Foolish Narcissa,
using faith as a torch.
Olympic ambrosia was never yours to taste,
yet you're still aimlessly searching.
No light graces the steps you take,
but you're too shrouded in darkness to see it.
Bedside Love Letter
this morning i had a dream we danced in the shower.
we hummed a song i don't remember the name of.
as the water crashed down on us,
we laughed like it was the first time we made love.
the air was thick with our shared shampoo,
of our cherry almond body soap.
we held hands and danced so close together,
there was no room for even water between us.
when i woke up, i had the smell of our shampoo on my pillow.
it was so pleasant i almost cried.
Horticulture Blues - Part i
Mother,
You always wanted a houseplant for a daughter,
something you could force into soil and water when convenient.
Maybe I could fit into the pot by the printer,
your busy fingers scrubbing my roots clean before you dropped me in
and forgot about me.
You've always bragged about having a green thumb, after all.
But you forgot to check my tags,
mother,
and even your (un)nurturing hands could not prevent my decay.
Or perhaps I look better hung from your ceiling, mother,
limp roots trailing a map to all the places you've fucked me
over.
I'm sure my own vines make a lovely rope necklace,
vibrant green against deathly grey,
twisting roundandroundandround my neck
and squeezing.
We never had a chance, mother.
But you grew us anyway,
and one by one we tumbled out,
worm-infested apples to your wise tree.
You dusted us off and called us beautiful,
took us back into the very reaches of yourself.
As you plucked grubs from your smile,
you told us to thank you
for bringing us into our own dead world.
We wouldn't grow in your stomach, mother.
We wouldn't grow at all.
You planted fireweeds and hoped for roses,
then burned your crops at the first
sign of weakness.
Mother,
through fire and flooded field,
the only danger to our germination
was you.
Sea-Salt Ice Cream
My bed still smells like sex.
Correction:
My bed still smells like the two of us intertwined,
like two galaxies coalescing,
two hearts beating,
two moons setting at once.
My bed still smells like sex.
It smells like salt water and star dust,
tastes like vanilla incense and unbreakable passion,
rocking hips and wild abandon,
fists through hair and a desperate plea:
Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop,
Filling holes we thought we'd left empty
long ago.
My bed still smells like gasping moans
and gripped bedsheets
and tangledtangledtangled legs
wrapped anchor-tight around waists.
It tastes like exploration,
like a psychedelic compilation of hopes
and dreams
and needs so tidal-strong.
Come home, he said,
and so I did.
My bed still smells like us.
Buildings Are the Greatest Weapons
[Cityscape, 4:00 PM]
Ground rumbles under feet,
systematic,
mechanical.
Buildings taller than America's Dreams rake the sky.
They tower,
they dominate.
City is a roaring beast,
tense,
volatile.
Nature sits in earthen realm.
She is screaming.
She is --
City is awake now,
livid and brazen.
It raises its metallic claws
and pounces.