Saving Grace

Blue bird singing outside my window,

letting me know the day is new.

I lean on the frame to say hello.

I watch her land in the nest with her babes.

Beautiful creatures perfectly made.

The second I feel You;

I know that I’m Yours.

Not literally, but in my heart,

like the babies and the mother bird.

Little ones that don’t speak at all,

yet they know to whom they belong

because she treats them so well

and grows them to be so strong.

The sound of my engine giving out on me again

fills the air as tears suffocate my eyes.

Fourth time this week, my boss

won’t continue to be understanding.

My forehead meets the cold tan steering wheel

of my beat-up pickup truck.

A sigh leaves my mouth.

Every day I want to give up

but,

When life drags on hopelessly,

I dance with You.

Again and again,

you take the lead,

so I don’t have to.

A woman with short, bobbed hair yells at me in Target

for accidently scanning her dog food twice.

My hands shake and my voice quivers,

I feel foolish.

I feel belittled,

but,

I have Your Word tucked in my heart.

They never leave me, nor forsake me.

Letter recipes that sit so sweet on my tongue.

One taste and my paralyzing fears are gone..

“The Lord is my light and my salvation;

whom shall I fear?”

Daily reminders of truth that shine light

on the darkest of evils.

I remind myself I am called beloved

and wipe my tears away.

The green numbers on the oven glow 11pm.

Sitting on the tile floor, alone in the kitchen,

phone in hand, scrolling through Instagram.

Slapped in the face by the posts I see.

My “friends” must have forgotten

to invite me,

but,

Your comfort is as solid

as a steady heartbeat.

At your table,

I always have a seat.

For love and affection,

You never make me compete.

At the very end of everyday

when the air is stale and silent,

I get to sit still and chat with You.

My dark grey comforter forms a cocoon

and my Cinderella nightlight illuminates the room.

There’s no big epiphany or trumpets from the sky.

It’s me talking out loud to the only being that ever

makes me feel like I’m worthy to be alive.

Though I try to stray every day to live life my own way,

You continue to let me come back,

carrying the shattered pieces of my longing soul.

Delicately you place them together again,

as if it never got a scratch.

My eyelids droop and my voice begins to fade.

A few last thoughts escape me.

They’re a jumble of sleepy mumbled mess,

but Jesus doesn’t mind.

You’re mine and I am Yours.

You’re with me till the end.

Thank you. I love you,

my very best friend.