Addicted
I seem to want to destroy myself again,
jump into whatever thrill,
whatever drug or mental numbing agent
I can get my hands on,
whatever will kill the pain
for an hour, a day, a week, a year
only to throttle me
into the dark depths afterwards,
submerge me into the dregs of temporary death;
I wish I could stay level,
learn balance,
kill my demons, embrace my angels,
find that flickering light
that lives hidden deep inside my soul,
make it grow,
help it to live again.
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