58

"He's writing music now?" Reese laughed at my pain. I gave up gatekeeping my life from my ex weeks ago. I thought that I might be making problems where there were done, and ignored the way he was suddenly interested in every. Single. Thing. I mentioned.

"Is it good?" Lucy asked. Pebble sat there, smiling at our conversation, looking at some book they were reading. They'd been there when we found out about this new development at climbing the day before.

"I dunno, he hasn't released anything yet," I shrugged, as though I wasn't bothered. Stupid habits. "I swear to God, though, if he does I'm gonna scream. I've been working on getting shit released for years now. He got into it... I dunno, yesterday??? But he's rich, so.."

They just laughed, giving me the space to continue my rant.

"...And is it good? I had a nightmare about that last night! And in the nightmare, the song wasn't bad, but it wasn't good, and Lucy, you were there, and you were looking at me, cause you didn't wanna say that it wasn't bad, but I was like, crying. Literally. I don't know why it would bother me so much, like, I seriously thought I was at a higher mental level, but ughhhhhh," I groaned. It hurt to admit that I was in the wrong, but I couldn't deny the way I felt, and I couldn't help but justify my feelings. If my ex-boyfriend released a song before I did, I would be livid.

"I had a nightmare about my stepdad coming back," Reese cut in. I fell silent.

"Oh shit. what was it about?" Lucy asked.

Pebble, on the other hand, burst out laughing.

"Nightmares about your ex writing a bad song versus nightmares about your stepdad coming back," They summarized, as if we didn't get the Irony. I love my friends. "Two types of people.

Reese, Lucy and I started laughing along, because it really was true. and laughing was the best medicine for depression, as they say.

Or a great way to pretend that you're okay, to ignore everything.

"Nonono, be sad. This is a sad thing. You are sad," Pebble interrupted, referring to Reese.

"I'm not sad!" She laughed.

"There's a difference between being happy, and being happy as a coping mechanism to cover up your sadness. You don't have a choice, you're sad."

"Pebble. You're like, never sad. Like, I feel like you never show what you're feeling," I pointed out.

"Yeah, like anytime Reese says anything about her trauma you're just like, 'L, Sucks to suck!" Lucy picked up where I left off, greatly misinterpreting my observation.

"Yeah, you wanna know why?" Pebble countered.

"Enlighten me," She shot back.

"Twice I showed sympathy, and both people confessed that they had a crush on me later in the year. Not to connect dots or anything but.... And anyway, I didn't wanna risk it."

There was a pause as we let their words sink in.

"You think I could ever have a crush on you?" Reese snapped back first.

"Yeah, I mean honestly. I am offended," Lucy started cracking up. None of us were gonna say what we all knew- every single one of us had a crush on them at one point.

"Well, I- ughhhhh," Pebble groaned.

"No, seriously," Reese cocked her head, showing the sass we all knew so well. I jumped in, coming to Pebble's defense. Kind of.

"Their just trying not to dig a deeper hole for themselves," I motioned digging with my hands.

"What she said," Pebble sighed, rubbing their eyes. Definitely did not sign up for this.

"No please, Dig the hole! I'll toss you a ladder!" Lucy shot back. Lucy came the closest to confessing.

"No, you'd throw the dirt back in and bury me alive," Pebble retorted.

Unfortunately that's where the wordplay ended.

"Impressive," yup, that's me: The Mediator. "I love how deep we got."

"Oh guys, I gotta go, Mom's coming," Reese whispered. We barely got out our goodnights before she hung up.

"Yeah, I should probably go too," I checked the time. 8:30 pm. Perfect.

"Okay, Byeeeee," Pebble waved.

"Goodnight, I'll miss youuuuu," Lucy stuck out her bottom lip.

"I'll miss you guys, too," I rolled my eyes. "Don't stay up to late! Bye!"

I hung up to their protests, smiling.