Agape

Hada fingered the jade-beaded subhah hanging from her neck as she skimmed the book in her lap. From afar, she heard the clang of dishes. She eyed the kitchen area, where her husband stood quizzically over a cast iron skillet and a thick old book of recipes they'd collected over the years. One of his hands was deeply rooted in his pulled-back blonde hair, while his other was securely between his teeth. Hada watched him shift between the book, the pan, and the two lobsters on the counter who were wandering slowly around their surroundings. He just so happened to look up, and both his hands went to his hips.

"You promised not to peak." His soft yet gruff Icelandic accent sent a soft chill up her spine. "Do you want to ruin our anniversary?"

"Of course not," she replied, mimicking his accent. He threw a piece of baguette at her, eliciting a giggle fit. "I'm just saying if you want to say you don't remember--"

"I remember, woman." His face was tinged with red, and his grip was tighter on his hair. "I just am having trouble paying attention because these little bastards won't stay still. Plus, it's been a minute since we read Old English."

"Well, we read Beowulf recently," Hada murmured.

"Ugh. Don't remind me. Stupid ass book."

"It's a classic!" Hada said, rolling her eyes playfully.

"Epic my ass. The dumbass who wrote it stayed anonymous for a reason."

"For all you know, I could've written it."

"As long as we've been together?" E's chuckle could be heard over the clanging of the pots. "I know your writing by now, love. And you write far better than that."

"Oh yeah?"

Hada slipped the ornate Scholastic bookmark back into her book and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed a cake pan and put both the lobsters in them so they were less likely to escape. The clamor of the pan on the counter made E jump, though he tried to hide it. Hada noticed anyway.

"Relax, my love." Hada chuckled. "Just didn't want my dinner to run away."

E looked towards the ground and placed the pot on the stove. "We talked about you taking over for me," he muttered, though Hada could tell he wasn't worried about the cooking anymore. He kept glancing at her, standing in some old boxers he had outgrown years ago and a tank top.

Hada giggled. "Yeah, because eating is what we look forward to on our anniversary."

"You are such a flirt," E said sarcastically.

He set the pot on the stove and peered back at the book. Hada watched him. While reading, he slipped the hazel rosary in and out of his mouth, lightly running his tongue against the shiny onyx beads separating them. E sprinkled salt in the pot and frowned. He mouthed a word, then looked towards the starry sky, trying to figure out what it meant. Hada started to help, but E shrugged it away and kept working. Hada looked down at the lobsters, who were curiously wandering the pan. The one who had continuously tried to escape had stopped and was trying to snip at the other's tail through the rubber band.

Hada smirked. The first time she had seen a lobster was in Rome. It was a few years into their marriage, though she still had to pretend she was E's slave. The pair had ended up on the shore of Rome helping Arabic merchants smuggle coffee into Italy without English boats catching. It was a night on the beach while they waited for a shipment. Hada had worn a shawl to hide her growing belly and was climbing up on a rock to see if she could see the boat when she nearly stepped on two mating lobsters. She had jumped back and screamed, and E had exclaimed that she had found them dinner.

E dropping something and swearing in Icelandic pulled Hada from her memory. "Fuck cooking!" he growled, kicking the ladle he dropped. He was clutching his palm tightly.

"What did you do?" Hada asked.

"Burnt my goddamn hand." E turned the stove off and grabbed the now-bent ladle. "Turned on the wrong fucking burner and then didn't realize the ladle was on it. Changed the burner then went to grab the ladle, and then--"

Hada quieted him by kissing him. "It's okay, baby. I'm not that hungry anyway."

"Are you sure?" E's voice was so soft she could barely hear him. She was rubbing his hand which was reddening.

She nodded and led him to the sink. She placed it under the cold water. "The lobsters will be okay for the night. I read on the interwebs they'll last a day and a half."

"We don't have a container for them."

"They'll be okay."

"The smaller one keeps trying to escape though. What if he does?"

"We'll find him. You need rest anyway." Hada rubbed E's hand gently. "I know reliving the 70s was hard."

"You only watch your wife get hepatitis once."

"Well, now you know how it felt when you got fucking cholera."

E ran his free hand through Hada's curly brown hair and planted a kiss on her head. "I wish I hadn't chosen to spend eternity with a woman with such a good memory."

Hada smiled. E's grip tightened on her hair and he kissed Hada's neck. "Don't think I didn't pick up on those cues earlier," he whispered in her ear.

She breathed heavily, then looked at him with a smug look. E had turned her loose and smacked her butt. "Don't look too excited. I just wanna cuddle right now."

She whimpered and made an annoyed face. "Rude."

"Don't get disrespectful now. I'm still mad you didn't listen to me about that crowd. I can't keep almost losing you, woman."

"We just end up back together," Hada said with an eye roll.

E shot her a stern look and continued over to the couch. He set her book on the coffee table and plopped down on his back. His feet hung off the couch, reminding her of the first time she'd seen him almost die. It was a few years after the Crusades, and his father had made a bad deal with the Muslims. Hada had been hiding in the back, instructed by E's father to not move from that spot or face getting gutted. Yet, seeing E laying motionless, bleeding out, she couldn't stop herself from running out and pleading in Arabic with the men to not kill E or his father.

Hada wet a paper towel that she set the lobsters on top of in the cake pan, then set it in the fridge. She dimmed the lights and went over to E. He was scrolling on his phone, though she could tell he wasn't paying any attention to what he was looking at. She tapped on his stomach.

"Is this spot taken?"

"I mean, you can sit here if you want. Sometimes there's pop-ups around there, but they subside."

Hada sat at the edge of the couch. E could hear her slowly scratching the soft ribbed fabric. "I'm sorry I ruined our anniversary, E."

"You're finally ready to talk about why you did that instead of doing this snarky shit? E hadn't looked away from the Facebook video explaining the right way to tie your shoes.

"I saw a little boy that looked like Adan," she murmured after a long time. Hada was twiddling with the cross on E's rosary. She ran her finger over the embossing of Adan's name on the little silver cross. "I didn't want to be sober anymore but knew it was hard on you."

E grabbed Hada's elbow gently and pulled her towards him. By the time her head hit his chest, she was a sniveling mess. E wiped his tears and pulled the rest of Hada's body onto him. He kissed her forehead and wiped her cheeks. He let Hada cry herself, only speaking to tell her it was okay and reassure her that he was not mad at her. After a few hours, her sobs had slowed to occasional sniffling breaths and soft sighs of sadness.

"I hate being cursed with forever," she murmured. She was playing with the pendant of the subhah, fingering the countless names of their children that they had lost carved in each of the hundred beads.

E was quiet for a long time. Then, in Amharic, he whispered to her, "You'll always have me. And our children will always have the experience of being raised by the best mother in the world."

"Thank you, baby." Hada was gently flicking her finger against his nipple. "I think I want to use protection tonight."

"I understand, love."