Every time I have experienced love at first sight.

When I was about 5 I watched the first boxing match I remember with my dad. There was a recap fight they showed of Sugar Ray Leonard. While watching the television from my dad's lap I fell in love with boxing on a dark fall night in a room full of rowdy and loud movement my brain locked in. Sugar Ray Leonard moved in silent slow motion behind my eyes like a duck, I imprinted on boxing. I spent my entire childhood nostalgic for fights had decades before I was conceived. The only thing that ever dissatisfied me as being born a girl growing up was I could never be entered into a 'real' boxing match. I went on to be a fighter until I felt restricted by that same thing into adulthood. I could not tell you the names of more than 5 people I went to elementary school with but I've never forgotten any fight I have ever seen. I fell in love at first sight with 'classic boxing' in the day of classic boxing before I knew how to spell.

When I was a child, about the age of 10 I met a man younger than my father but older than my mother- I fell in a love with his speech, the way his hands folded around the chalk he was creating a masterpiece with, the tone of his voice and the way I felt when introduced to him. I remember crying when we met, and every time since, when we are together- I weep openly for a reason I believe is that he is the first person whom I ever saw Jesus in their eyes and it never left me. I started writing him letters as a child, then attending youth camps where he preached, continuing letters through marriage and raising my children. Whenever he was within a few hours drive, I was there to see him preach, watch him draw, and tell him face to face, crying, how deeply I loved him.We have been like father and child for 35 years separated by about 700 miles. I have never loved him less, everyday only more. I fell in love at first sight with true humble righteousness.

In seventh grade, you could sign up to be a 'special helper' for the students in the classrooms outside of the gym at the school. I was an athlete- so I was always in that hallway. I was curious to see why you had to apply to volunteer to do work that would take the place of gym class. One day, I was entering the room where you were to submit your information for the classroom helper- when I saw a child violently lash out at a woman who with the utmost genuineness in a perfectly calm and loving voice redirected, and curled him into her side rather than rebuking him. As he was at his extreme- she was at hers... and it was kindness. The feeling that flooded me of the visual of watching that boy move from violent to knowing he was loved and becoming calm- changed every cell in my body. I have worked since 7th grade in any capacity I could find or create to make kindness happen and went on to get several degrees in social work, substance abuse, policy writing, and ministry. There are times I go well over a year without a hug- I am not one to understand receiving kindness, but since that day I fell in love with kindness as it happen- I have done all I can to become it.

When I was on a school bus in 10th grade, I threw a penny at a boy who got very mad and came to return the penny to whomever was brave enough to say they had thrown it. I watched him stand there very angry for about 20 seconds before I jumped up and asked if he had a penny I could borrow. A few weeks later I told my Grandma I met a boy I wanted to have babies with- and we had a talk (ha). A few weeks after that, the boy ended up in my environmental science class, and we laughed everyday. One day, I told him the story of the penny- our sons are 23 and 25 now. I can not wait to see him again, and I will ask for no greater reward in heaven than to have a penny to throw at that boy when I get there.

When I was just out of high school, I thought I had fallen in love at first sight with an ultrasound picture. I was amazed at how much I could love something- until I held the boy on the print out... and felt the entire world turn inside out and upside down with what I know now was 'loving something more than you love yourself'- like a light switch that massive load of emotion fell down upon me in an instant and has never left... less than two years later when I first held his brother, I felt it again but with a familiarity; both times were love at first sight but each it's own endowment of feelings.

When I was in grad school, I hosted a stupid 'web tv' channel for a 'communications and technology' class. The top shows of the hour were on a banner at the top of the page when you logged in as live streams. When my 'channel' appeared at the top of the page, it grabbed my attention and I saw a 'channel' playing on the screen next to mine of a surly dude who looked like he was suppressed in disgust, go from one expression to an explosion of laughter that plucked some chord in my brain so hard I closed my news stream to go hear his voice, hoping to catch the sound of that laughter I saw- which I did not- but I spammed his chat log to the point of him making me co-host just to see who was bothering him. We talked for 6 hours that night and by the end of that week knew one another as if we were siblings. Hardly a day passed for 12 years that I did not do or say something to make that laugh bust into the air even if against his will until he was no longer here to laugh. I fell in love at first sight of a laugher's roar, only to find out later it echoed up from the soul of a good man with universes on his shoulders.

At work one morning, I was ordering something for a dog I was planning on adopting when I clicked on a link that took me to 'pet finder' where a different, little white dog appeared on my screen and I burst into tears- I could not dial the number associated with the little dog fast enough, not knowing anything about her and fumbled through a weird conversation with a notable rescue organization about a famous little dog with 500+ applications in play for her adoption. I explained I was very sorry but I was pretty sure the woman 'had my dog' though I'd never seen the animal before in my life. Three weeks later I was driving to Tennessee to pick up my dog, who I had until she at the ripe age of 22 crossed rainbow bridge. I fell in love at fight sight with a little busted up dog.

I have only one other love at first sight - I found in a stranger who somehow, in some way felt like home- one I never knew; but also one I never knew.

Funny thing... as I wrote this out- thinking of things I 'grew to love' always ended.

Those things I'd call 'love at first sight will only die when I do.