You, you...and me?

"WHAT?!" An interjection I got so tired of hearing yet it never fails to shock me every time. Usually, it is followed by a statement of disbelief and crying.

"Mandy is dead? But she was still fine when I last talked to her!"

"Joe passed away this morning. I can't believe it."

And the best one, which actually felt like it chopped off a crucial part of me, happened one August. "Your father died last night. It was so unexpected, it just really..." Then came the overwhelming grief. It arrived like a whale with a body so huge, words were not even enough to describe. Spotting me, it swam from the horizon and started closing in so fast while it opened its mouth, ready to swallow me alive. Then everything turns black.

It's like, everyone around me is dying one by one. From the people I was once acquainted with, to those who held a special place not just in my heart, but in who I am as a whole.

Sitting on the chapel's uncomfortable wooden seats, I stare into nothingness without a single tear left to cry. My eyes feel drained, the same as my soul but still, I smile even though it looked lifeless, as if it was as dead as the corpse inside the coffin.

Funny how my happiness seems to have died with them. But the big difference is, that joy will always have a chance of being revived, no matter how little, while as for their corpses...those are dead forever.

A question only God can answer repeatedly plays inside my mind:

So, who's next?