Lists

Reasons I suspect my cat as a CIA agent

1. Well... Someone.... Seems to know all my debauchery before properly debauched.... A certain cat-lovin' someone.... A certainly in charge of the cat food someone.... A handler type...

2. I am also a CIA agent

3. You ever seen a nosier cat? I mean, come on.

Why did the aliens leave without bothering us?

1. Florida. Enough said.

2. Global warming. Cause we stupid and created global warming. They were too cozy.

3. Got called into work. They're a higher up, of course.

Why does the government allow alcohol/nicotine?

1. How else are we to fund the Miss America pageant

2. So we all look cool

3. Reagan. Obviously. Not THE Reagan. My cousin: Mikey Reagan. He likes to party.

Reasons to call out of work to go fishing

1. It's not a tumor.

2. Cause when I get that feeling I need sexual healing.

3. Look, man, I've had a sh*t f*ckin' night and I hate The f*ckin' Eagles, man!

Wait? What's that in the corner?

1. Tupac posters. 4623 copies of the same tupac poster that i designed and ordered the day before.... well... you know.

2. What IS that in the corner?

3. Darnell!!! Get back over here! Always playin'!