wuzzy

small cheap stuffed shoe-button bear

gifted by an aunt to celebrate my birth

my first awareness

a soft brown being

as I grew larger

he grew smaller

I'd hold him tight to me at night

he always fit in my arms just right

wuzzy never blamed me when my parents fist swung fighting

my dad stomping out slamming screaming cursing yelling shit

wuzzy never smacked me when breakfast spilt on school shirts

making mommy make me pay beat me silly slap into clean ones

so long ago yet the sound still tense my stomach fist clenching

reaching out to wuzzy who took it all in with his stupid smile

wuzzy absorbed it all

soaked up tons of quiet quivering tears

his coat became chunky knobby nubby

mommy tossed him into the laundromat

he didn't make it

my first constant beloved comforter pal

a useless clump of felted mass wad waste

I looked in the big drum

we never found his eyes