Superficial

You liked how I laughed like the world was going to end tomorrow, without a care in what anyone would say.

You desired to talk to me every second of the day, for I made you feel like you were wanted...and really, you are.

You were enchanted at the way my eyes lit up and the uncontrollable smile that found its way to my lips whenever I talked about my passions and dreams.

You were inspired when you heard how much I wanted to be given the heart that deeply cares for the people around me.

You liked how I was probably the nicest person you've ever met. That I was perfectly good, as pure as white.

You made me the sun to your day. I became your light and your world revolved around me.

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But you were mistaken.

I was laughing to forget about the overwhelming pain inside. Insecurities were eating me from the inside, my soul almost completely gone.

I made you feel wanted because I myself am very familiar to the feeling of insignificance. Flashes of me staring into nothingness in the middle of the night, cheeks stained with tears and uncontrollably shaking with anxiety, as I questioned God why did He gave life to me when someone else deserved it better.

I spoke of passions and dreams that once didn't exist inside of me. There I was a few years back, waiting for death to take me away. I didn't care about anything because I believed that I wasn't going to last that long anyway.

I wanted to care for people because I know how it feels like to be ignored and hated on, especially by those dear to me. It broke my heart every single day to be given the cold shoulder whenever I asked for the help I badly needed.

I was being nice because I didn't want the darkness to leak from inside. I have a dark side I keep sealed tight because people are so afraid of it. A glimpse is enough to send them running away, since they are afraid of the unknown...and you are one of them.

You were so focused on the way you felt, on the light I gave off, that you didn't notice the shadows and the darkness that emphasized the light you adored so much at first. But when you did, disappointment was all you felt because I wasn't as perfect as you thought I was. I turned out to be just another broken soul with scars all over...but you know what? It's something I am proud of.

It had always been about you, not me. You were your own sun.