Writing Without Purpose
And for their next trick, call it the disappearance act.
The room becomes empty before I can even react.
I never told you that was my last, but when I gave it
I was glad.
Until it's time to pay the piper,
Then I'm sick from the incisor bites from the viper.
Prisoner to my mission, speaking from battered intuitions.
Writing with no purpose; cursed with a mind that lurks
Beneath the surface of the earth while being unburned
So my mental state resides in a recycled turbulence.
Slip into a drive-by depression like my
Motivations for ever wanting to live are regressing.
Can't find the inspiration.
Life is all about introspection.
My headaches cross ways with my stress at the intersection
Of love and hate.
Bills pile up along with this exhaustion that I can't escape.
Spend most of my days with my headphones on,
Zoned out, ignoring texts and calls that emerge from my phone.
Why do I even attempt to speak logic
When stupidity is brolic?
Frolic in poisonous flowers and paint the hearts violet.
I choose violence when I speak the truth.
Between me and you, I was only keeping up a wall
Because I don't trust any of you.
I lost my grandpa before I made something of myself.
Said I'd not make that mistake with my grandma
And I'm not sure if I did or not,
But last year was the end of that journey.
Back to back, lost my dad after that.
So now I'm here plotting, trying to figure out
How to retire my mom and make a million out of a dollar.
Corporate or blue collar, can't call it.
I'm not sure I'm all in, but I know every lecture that I'm involved in
Kills my passion for this writing shit.
Lifeline, can I dial in?
Hey God, it's your boy again.
I'm currently just going with the wind.
No, I'm not emotionless.
Just smarter about who I share them with.
Deep down. I may be chasing something that doesn't exist.
I may be the last one who operates within nirvana
On his hopeful stride to Arcadia.
Haley's comet passed by so I could make a wish.
I simply wish that I could think of a better wish.
Something more selfish because the world
Doesn't deserve a hug or a kiss,
Saw them kill a kid, rape a woman, and beat a man to death,
Watched them threaten my life, wave a gun in my face
When I was simply existing.
Saw them take the food away from the poor
Just to watch them kill each other for scraps.
Saw them tell us that we can't pray; there is no church in this wild.
And have them divide us by race like we could choose as a child.
Made the women believe that all men ain't shit.
And the ones you do get, you're just looking for rich.
Saw too many evil things in my dreams as the world
Falls apart at the seams.
Burning buildings, diseases with no vaccines.
Having humans test artificial intelligence just to replace human beings.