Galley slave sentenced to punishing obsessive compulsive behavior
and thus feels justified to thrust upon the eyes of some anonymous reader (hoop fully lovelynb among the nattering nabobs from nativity) daring her/him they/them to attempt even scant comprehension with utter gibberish that came upon the midnight blue.
The following personal account initially couched with davenports intent to wax poetic/prosaic about the bane of obsessive compulsive disorder, and the illogical mindscape housed within sixty plus shades of gray along with verity, yet I could not help myself pushing the figurative boundary of fact from fiction, and thus rambling words incorporate trademark hyperbole to enliven an otherwise mundane generic account of an ordinary event – namely the debut entrance into the webbed wide world of yet another screaming newborn, whose bland existence necessitates embellishment to receive my daily share of attaboy from a regular Joe Biden his time until the upcoming presidential election after which cataclysmic political event will resound with reverberation from one of the universe to the other..
Prior to passing thru cervix uneventfully – except for the time when I nearly came flying out clear across all the way to Compton, where people here prematurely ejaculated Leaping Lemur! - January thirteenth mcmlix buck naked bare, this grandson of Aaron, and son of Boyce, the sole heir – to inherit Harris surname (a mama's boy as shown courtesy ultrasound itty bitty teensy weensy fingers holding on to what looked like a nanobot size little apron string – donned by womb door full gourmand, who served meals on wheels hashtagged and linkedin onto umbilical cord riding ala rails to trails, how it got there only Jimmy Buffett knows), which at birth trademark insecurity idiosyncrasies vis a vis nail biting (actually gumming hand that fed me) became crystal clear, immediately pronounced and obvious an obsessive compulsive predilection accentuated easily forgettable human being as a harmless whippersnapper endearingly cute strongly resembling baby monkey possessed no cape (a bull) fear when placed on scale tried to get away, and you ought to have seen countenances of medical staff in birthing center getting a looksee at the scales tipping needled gear greater or lesser than 10 stone (minus or plus a few pebbles) with a universal mass of dreadlocked hair, otherwise a gangly sack of many lovely bones, whereat obstetricians could not help themselves but jeer, thus upon my exiting sluice after being housed in the uterus for nine months found him twirling loose kinky follicular fibers according to medical records, a combination of his being bored (with a really super strong arm penchant) to sport dreadlocks, tough as hemp cord an anomaly, which no app could compare, boot nonetheless highly adored resembling inimitable indestructible filaments, when taut could lift off the ground a board dillow, which no reference manual could address even topnotch experts queried, could not explain outrageous constituent rarely if never seen before, though still insured, a novel boot nada so critical freak of nature ma lord hirsute component part in a triple tier moored substantial pressure upon the head, entwining, looping, spilling somehow interweaving umbilical cord into a mass of whirled wide webbed wear suitable for four seasons, which bamboozled, grew like Kudzu into an immense globular mass galore ('bout the size of Rhode Island) after one year hoar more, and wove in part from stem cell threads, nor ceased proliferating after birth placenta accrued intact and immediately put in cold store room, a very peculiar by product tinged with strands of blond hair evoking how lioness would roar cocooning, contriving, and conveying this tiny timid dude.
As yours truly racked up orbitz around the sun time consuming rituals characterized obsessive compulsive disorder siphoning precious energy from each moment analogous to a beast of burden shamboling on the loose trampling (rolling stones) feeble attempts to shuck off baseless worry tethering psyche countless linkedin psychoneurotic thoughts and/or actions vacuumed up productive waking hours of mein kampf fixated courtesy bizarre untenable repetitive actions similar to religious formality to stave off ill luck.
When behavior not governed by questionable dutiful, (albeit senseless) bodily antics, the mind of yours truly aswarm with worrisome far fetched thoughts, I enumerate the following short list; jiggling door handle ad infinitum/nauseum number of times to reassure myself bolt latched and locked; water suddenly running dry while showering and richly lathering hair after washing brunette locks then afterwards applying hair dryer and fingers to tease lovely tresses apart finally shaking out mane until no more tangles; a fire or drill while above situation exists; power outage do to heavy demand for air conditioning or central heater, when the season summer or winter respectively occurs.
Aforementioned examples of physical and/or mental peculiarities witness me becoming fatigued analogous to completing a marathon eager, ready and willing to collapse these lovely bones into a heap forever resigning corporeal entity to permanent desuetude such as death.