A New Insight Into My Sleep Paralysis: My Shadow visits me

This night I met my shadow. A dark energy of "You do not deserve this".

The heavy entity inside of me that wants to keeps me low, in the unconscious. It pulls me back down in the dark when it senses that I am evolving. The dense energetic mass resides in my body, is rooted in anxiety and feeds on anxiety. It is the source of all my limiting thoughts ~ that I often believe to be true.

Meeting my own shadow was insightful and immediately scary. I felt intimidated, and suppressed by its heavy and coercive weight. I reacted with resistance: "I will not let you have me. You will not control me". I tried to break through the dark energy that embraced my being by connecting to the vibrations of my spirit. And then I realized, that I was stuck. For the umpteenth time, I was stuck, in sleep paralysis.

I do not know which was most problematic. The gloomy energy of my shadow, or the anxious fight against it.

Fight and flight are fear responses. It is mainly the fear of the fear that creates the sleep paralysis. I realize that these types of dreams always go as following: I am confronted with a darkness that somehow wants to possess me. Then I fight with the dark. As that clearly never works, I run. From the moment I attempt my escapism, I notice that there is nowhere to go.

Being afraid and fighting against your own darkness is once again, your shadow, in disguise.

If you truly want to wake up to the light after this long unconscious dream, you actually have to be brave and walk the walk through the dark forest. Until you no longer feel brave, but rather calm. Because you realized that the darkness isn't really you. So there is ultimately nothing to be afraid of. For you were the light that was guiding you all along. If you know you are the light, then why would you fight?

When darkness visits me now, I am in total and complete surrender. I have come to love it. For it is this contrast inherent in the human experience that enables this grand opportunity for my soul to grow deeply.

Next time in my sleep paralysis, I might give thanks to my darkness, giving it a gentle smile. For one does not conquer darkness by fighting, one conquers it, by loving.