Exhausted

I’m getting so tired

of having to convince myself

it’s worth it to stay alive.

Always an uphill battle.

No love, no life, no future.

Just fighting and fighting

and for what?

As I watch everything fall apart

anyway.

I’m punching brick walls,

breaking my bones,

knuckles all bloody.

I could stand still

and let the flies eat away

at this decaying corpse of a body.

I want to shield my kids

from this shitstorm.

Keep their eyes closed

to the horrors and monsters.

But I’m afraid

I’m going to be called the monster.

I’m going to be blamed

for this asteroid that fell on my head.

And here I am,

no love, no life, no future.

A marionette being pulled

by some hellish puppet master

who apparently loves nothing more

than tearing lives to pieces.

I’m getting so tired

of having to convince myself

it’s worth it to stay alive.

But I have to find a way

for the sake of my kids.

They’re all I’ve got

until they’re gone too

just like everyone else.