Ranting

My mom was being a bitch today

I buried my feelings inside

Cool, calloused

That's what I've become

Don't care if I'm OK

Just want to see your pain

Be nice and you'll be rewarded

Never happened

But maybe I can trick her

Maybe she can be nice if I don't cross her boundaries

Maybe

Let's be real

I'm not allowed to be a kid

I can't do what I want

My mom tells me she works for me

Do you remember the last time I said I hate you.

It was a few months ago

I almost fell asleep in therapy today

I was bored, heard it hundred times before

Be nice

Be kind

shut up and do your time

I'm only here cause I couldn't shut you up with a rhyme

My poems feel like rapping:

Emotionless

Rude

Profane

Insane

I like to listen to rap

Mostly cause it helps me focus

But I started because of you

Started because I related more with someone who said they hated the world

than someone who loved it

I'm awake in the morning trying to meditate my pain away

Why couldn't you do the same?

Why do I have to pay for your pain?

Never mind

I've thought every sentence here before

And when I tell you I'm bored, listen

Cause everyone told me if I didn't care I'd feel better

They said your words wouldn't hurt me anymore

If I tell someone you are the problem they say, fix yourself.

So I'm done

Done waking up to listen

Done paying attention to you

Done trying to fix myself so you don't have to fix you

So fuck it

Can't make you listen

But I can stop blaming myself