The awakening - November 19th, 09:45

It is my path

There is no way to resist it

There is no need to rush it

It will be walked regardless

This is my path, and it's an important one. I have strong healing powers within me that want to be activated. It doesn't even feel like I have to "learn" so much. They mostly require to be activated.

For the sake of my mission. For the sake of humanity. For the sake of spirit. I have always known I was here to serve humanity in some form. Although I have often tried to look in the other direction. I had not found a way to work with people that was both efficient and not draining. When I was giving psychotherapy, meditation therapy or massage therapy, subconsciously I felt that this was nothing compared to the ancient wisdom stored inside of me. Often I deeply felt that I will be able to have strong psychic and healing abilities, but that definitely scared me. I was for sure not ready for that. All I wanted was to be in peace and to live a joyful life.

The mission that I felt strongly in my heart, the force that was pulling me up, the urgency to grow, felt too much at times. As if I was saying: "I am not ready for something that big." Suddenly we are here in the journey, and I am ready. Do I feel ready with my whole being to gain insight into my soul's purpose and to open up my gifts? Hells nah. Most of the times, yes. But it is not easy. Even though I feel deeply in my heart that I want to give my love and healing powers to the people, I am also afraid to work with people. Because in my mind it is associated with being drained, too much heaviness and giving too much of myself. These associations have been established in past lives and in this lifetime.

We are however not there anymore. I have learned to love myself first. There are a few deep wounds around self-love I have yet to heal. But in general, I love me, I know my boundaries, and I respect my boundaries. I know how to stand up for myself, and I know how to accept and love myself when I feel tired and need rest.

Another sign that proves my work on "the empath wound" is that I do not become weak when I listen to people's darkness. When I hear their stories I empathize and I see that they are part of the larger whole. We need suffering in order to grow. After having faced so much darkness inside of myself, transmuting it to light and seeing how it has strengthened me, I am no longer afraid of the dark. Neither when it concerns other people nor the planet. I feel the heaviness in my human heart, but in my whole being, in my spirit, I deeply know that all this, is happening for us, not to us.

I am a strong light, continuing to shine stronger and brighter. Only the darkness could have made that possible for me. The darkness is not a past, closed chapter. It an integrated force, part of nature. Something that I know and walk through with ease. When dark entities visit me, I feel the tension inside of me, but I know love. I choose love. And I know that they are just dense energy that also need love. So I make space for it and I trust myself that no matter how many dark entities surround me, I am love, I am safe, and I cannot be harmed. And that is all one needs to learn to be able to walk through the dark. This journey is not about turning our back on the dark and trying to look for light. Our journey is about shaking hands with it, realizing that you are the light and ultimately seeing that there is a light hidden in that darkness too. That darkness is a costume. It is light pretending to be dark. It uses this costume to create a sense of contrast and duality here on earth, offering the opportunity for spirit to evolve. Darkness is only dangerous when you keep seeing it as evil and believing it to be a true part of yourself, thus giving it the power to feed on you. You have to realize that you yourself are the light and the power. It is the journey to this deep realization that leads to more enlightened states.

I need to work with humans. My life will never feel whole and complete if I don't, cause I won't be standing in my soul's purpose. It is going to give me energy, fulfillment and joy. However, I need to fill my own cup first.

Here comes in the importance of my own happiness. I have to allow the universe to serve me with a stable support of joy, freedom and abundance underneath my feet. For too long I have separated living a happy and joyful life with my deep purpose to make an impact. As if the two could not co-exist. These two necessities and desires are both integral and cooperating aspects in my journey. There is no way back from this realization now. Fulfilling my soul's purpose would not be possible without the abundance and freedom that I so desire.

As a psychic, channel and energy healer I receive much more information than most humans. I need my own space, I need my van to roam free and feel inspired. My time to meditate for insights and processing information. My time in nature to recharge and connect. Strong, spiritual friendships for laughter and support. Time to express my internal experience creatively. Money to support all of this. I need to give myself the highest degree of love and freedom so that I am able to give the highest degree of love and freedom to the people I am meant to work with.

I need the energy of love, joy, fun, dance, wonder, beauty, passion and deep peace to then pour that into my work. My happiest self is my strongest, most radiant and most influential self.

The love that I give to myself and the love that I give to others can no longer be seen as separate. They are fulfilling the same purpose: the highest good.