Insane

Comehere! Listen! 

    his whisper is urgent.

Scared, I close the washer and 

    put down the detergent.

Eyes wide I follow and 

    stand where he tells me.

I stay there with head cocked 

    and listen quietly.

I don't hear it, I tell him 

    with no hesitation.

You aren't listening! He growls, 

    face full of frustration.

I love him and feel like 

    I should have sympathy

Patiently I hug him. 

    Trust me, I plea.

Stand right here and listen! 

    (He's at it again)

I know I'll hear nothing 

    but for him I pretend

Can't you hear my father? 

    he practically begs

I can't, I say as 

    I hide shaking legs

Your dad isnt here. 

    He's 3000 miles away.

I hear him again 

    just like the other day!

It's all in your head, 

    and you know it's not real.

This time... Fuck! 

    You don't know how I feel!

Come here! Hurry! 

    There are people outside!

Eyes roll. Here we go.. 

    Wish I could just hide.

He pulls me and 

    I follow him reluctantly.

This time my annoyance is 

    quite plain to see.

Your a bitch! He whispers, 

    peeking outside.

Really? Let me prove that 

    your mind's on a ride.

I throw open our front door 

    and step into the night

Who is out here? I yell. 

    Come out and fight!

Get back here! he whispers, 

    knowing he lost.

I obey and go hug him 

    only feeling exhaust.

I know it isn't his fault 

    he's scared and paranoid.

As a child his dad beat him 

    while his mom would avoid.

Its midnight. 

    I'm jolted awake in a fright.

His hand's round my throat 

    his grip pretty tight.

Before I can respond, 

    he wakes up from a dream.

He thought I was his father, 

    I couldn't even scream.

Paranoid schizophrenia, 

    the doctor boldly proclaims.

Auditory hallucinations are just 

    part of the games.

His mind will convince him 

    he has something to fear

Month in and month out, 

    year after year!

Oh and I'm not thru, miss. 

    See that isn't all

Your man's pretty fucked up. 

    You're gonna have a ball.

Bi-polar disorder and PTSD

Manic depression and I'm 

    fairly sure ADHD!

Our son was born and 

    I got it figured out.

Staying out of sympathy isn't 

    what life is about.

If his issues hadn't been excuse 

    to beat up on me...

I would have stayed. 

    Helped him find a way to be free.