you inside me

it's funny how things change 

so rapidly

so quick

you can't put your finger on the moment 

before you are sent into spins

finding yourself on the other side

half way around full circle

competing with yourself

and you feel like a lost cause

rejected 

pacified

sent as far as earth will let one be sent away

you feel incomplete in this new oneness

when all the times you can recollect 

in a past not far left behind 

was you 

filling in the emptiness

was you

making me whole

now I awake

after all the pushing and pulling

and tearing out my hair

and being sent a half a world away

I find myself filling in my own self

finding completeness without you 

and wondering how could I have ever thought

I needed you 

when the whole time you were 

kicking and screaming

from inside of me

trying to get out

trying to be rid of me 

of us

it never was 

it never was

you only filled in the spaces 

that you also emptied

sending my very self

out against me

it was you 

it was you

that made me empty

in the first place 

it's by gods graces 

that I'm half a world away from you

or I might decide to detonate 

and rid this whole damn world 

of your face. 

I'm glad I realized how much you were so afraid to love

because all you feel is hate 

all you do is destroy the beauty in things

self included

so I guess I'll leave you to it

you will self destruct yourself 

eventually 

I already know

so I guess I'll keep my hands to myself 

and just enjoy the show.