You know when you hear the words,

"Once Upon a Time" and they make you listen?

There's a reason.

Because when you dream,

there's a chance you'll find

a little laughter

or a "Happy Ever After..."

0:)

I want to get into writing my stories

but my mind keeps replaying memories

specifically, the one from earlier today

at the studio where I teach folks to paint

when a married couple came in for their 1 year

bringing with them his mother and father to share

2 bottles of wine between the 4 of them

having a good time and running over at the end

and that's when it happened...

He was the only one still wearing his apron

tied tight around his waist, looking great on him

but I made myself make it all about the paint

their art work and the experiences they make

but I couldn't let him walk out the door

still wearing that apron, bright and orange

so, I reached a hand toward his back

with his own hands full of canvas and bags

and warned him I was going to untie him

felt tension snap inside me, should I quit?

but he said it was okay and turned slightly

letting me pull the bow with one tug just rightly

then snagging the neck strap halter

to pull it off his head without falter

but alas, in effort not to touch the man

while under the string he ducked his head

I also managed to knock off his sunglasses...

My instinct to catch them was instantly stopped

the second they hit his pec and bounce off

his hand following them toward the floor

and I had to turn, shaking my head, the fool...

I didn't mean it in any way but to get the apron

but now I can't stop thinking I ruined the day for him

with my awkward sensitivities and idiosyncrasies

fucking up the order of my social conductivity

leaving me feeling weird for having that moment

and weirder still because I'm constantly re-living it...

- M.E.

201508092300

Many of us (activists, thinkers, or students) whom thirst for a positive change for our communities, at times get discouraged by the many obstacles life presents. As much as we try to help in whatever we are most passionate towards, a negative backlash or situation may occur, leading people to feel hopeless and give up. For the past year I have been working on a campaign that I founded based on the need of my neighbors and friends. At the moment I decided to do something about the kind of global issue we were facing, I knew immediately it will take a lot of commitment from my part. With deep faith and willingness to bring honor to my sister and her baby (who were victims of this global issue) I decided to act and be that one individual to say “#iam4 change” regardless of the kind of obstacles life will present.

Today, I will not only #write4good for the sake of the competition, but to also bring awareness. In 2013, my home became a crime scene to a horrific murder. Two men broke into our home, where at the time my sister, who was 3 months pregnant, was the only family member inside. They did unimaginable things to her and then strangulated her to death. In order to cover the evidence, my sister and her unborn child were left to burn that night. I received support from the RGVEZ Victims of Crime Program and with many months of counseling, I slowly began my journey of personal healing. One year later, since that tragic day, I got the courage to stand up against the violence piercing my neighborhood by forming the “Strides for Fany / Ascensos por Fany” campaign to give voice and strength to my colonia. This campaign was a response to the high levels of crime activity that kept happening in colonia, San Cristobal. I learned that the tragedy that my family and I faced not only impacted us, but also the people around us, for this reason I started this campaign, to honor my sister Stephanie “Fany” Gonzalez. I want people to remember her as an independent and strong person and I hope that my colonia will be inspired by her character and stand up against the existing violence that upholds our colonia.

Since the initiation of the campaign, a small dedicated team from my university and I, have brought forth the crime issues to Commissioners Court, hosted monthly meetings with residents, launched a Facebook page for the campaign and are already beginning the implementation process of a Neighborhood Watch Program in collaboration with the Hidalgo County Crime Stoppers and the Hidalgo County Sheriff’s Department. Despite all the incredible work, we understand that in moving forward with the direction of the campaign, it is a necessity to sustain it both programmatic and financially in order to create effective change in the long term. That is a kind of obstacle of course I was aware of at the beginning but will not permit it to be the reason we stop moving forward in the future. The mission is to decrease the crime activity in Colonia San Cristobal by building a cohesive and trustful relationship with residents and reclaiming respect and dignity in our neighborhood. Once successful, we want to become a model and resource to help other colonias in the Lower Rio Grande Valley who are experiencing high levels of crime activities in their colonias.

In late 2014, with the assistance of Texas Rio Grande Legal Aid, the University of Texas Pan-American and 4 classmates, a short survey was designed and conducted to understand how residents felt about living in their colonia and what type of safety concerns and issues they were confronting. The results are as follows:

1. 64% of residents did not feel safe in the colonia.

2. 57% said they were victimized regularly.

3. 85% stated that there was lack of correspondence from local law enforcement.

Residents from San Cristobal also stated that the primary reason why they would not report these crimes was because they feared the “retaliation” or worst that a similar incident as the one that my sister endured, would happen to them. Therefore, to reduce the crime activity and elevate the fear that residents live in, the primary objectives of the campaign are:

1. Create a Neighborhood Watch Program to rebuild trust in the neighborhood.

2. Strengthen the dialogue and relationship between colonia residents, law enforcement and local government officials.

3. Involved youth through the establishment of youth programs and services. 4. Provide a leadership development platform for residents to rise and led the pathway for effective policy change through outreach and advocacy in their colonia.

5. Network and collaborate with other non-profits, government agencies and private entities to revitalize the colonia into a safer neighborhood and become a model for other colonias in similar circumstances.

Ultimately, the goal is to empower residents to take back their colonia and build a united front to combat the crime activity that penetrates their community. Since vandalism and theft happens anywhere and anytime, we encourage everyone that feels their neighborhood faces this kind of crimes in a regular basis, to reach out for help to their local law enforcement. But also, and most importantly, build a relationship with their neighbors (like us) you can create a positive change ONE STRIDE AT A TIME.

At this time, I would like to thank the time took to read my humble story and goals. As in for me, I will continue to pursue my degree in Criminal Justice to better understand the law and improve my campaign and neighborhood. I will continue to work hard to pay for college and give back to my community. This type of movement I decided to create can be yours too. You can help end this global issue! I look forward to learn about any feedback and collaboration , thank you.

P.S. If you would like to contribute or learn more on how to create your own campaign, please contact us!

Email: stridesforfany@gmail.com

Facebook: “Strides for Fany / Ascensos por Fany”

It's summer nights when your blood runs hot

There's so much to do and nothing to do

The moons are bright and the sky always clear

Grass cool and coddling on the loneliness

And I laugh at the thought of gnats and mosquitos as companions

But lightning bugs aren't so bad

Grazing wings and feet brush my skin

But they don't approach for comfort

Merely observance

I am an obstruction in their routine

Of green blades and floating highways

They're feeling me out

Putting me in a jar

And just to save myself I believe they've come to assuage something awful

But what of a bug?

What of I?

Eyes shut, ground reclaims.

We wake up Monday mornings smelling like cigarettes.

You were a dream.

Beyond it.

An absolute mirage,

I awoke wondering if you actually existed.

I dreamt of you that night,

Did you know that?

You held me in your arms and we were immortal.

But why must fantasies fade so fast?

Because I blew my smoke in your face and you felt nothing.

Looking at you makes me sad sometimes.

When you're drunk you forget me.

You told me yourself you're a different person.

But god, if only every side of you loved me like you loved me that night,

When I couldn't walk and I leaned against you,

When you told me the things that broke you,

When you said goodbye and wrapped your arms around me,

And made sure I got home safe.

I want that every night for the rest of my short life,

But I need the sober you

And he's hidden all too often in the depths of substance, substance,

Chemical substance.

No, it's these things that make you feel alive

So who am I to shame you

When you spend enough time

Getting shamed by the world?

But I need you. I want you.

I just don't know how to go about getting you.

So until then your image will pierce my heart,

and your eyes sear my soul.

We sing a song of borrowed time,

A twisted tale of you and me.

You make me feel in eloquent

When all I've known how to spin are words.

But as I lie, unearthed and shaken,

You lay your fragile rose

Upon my breast.

Your lips, they whisper, "Not yet."

For the only one that can understand a sinner

Is another sinner themself

And those who understand death are pulled

Back to the face in a crowd among the living.

Because souls know signals, eyes send them, and yet,

It's not truly understood anywhere else but the heart.

(So smile with me, for now we are free

Forever until the end.)

On days like these,

I wish I was that kind of brilliant

With tragic words and silking charm

I wish I could reach in to any soul

Any feelings, any pain

On days like these,

Words are stuck but heart pumps diesel

Sore with agony, while I feel at ease

It's melodrama-magical

How feelings could slide, twisted

Divided in random motions

On days like these,

I wish I was your star