I have made a list of three things you have taught me:

1. Stand up straight.

Now, when i say stand up straight, i don't mean posture wise. What I mean is when you are staring adversity in the face, square your shoulders and hold your head up high. In a world full of people who are waiting to see you fail, there is no room for cowardice. So, Mom. Thank you for teaching me to stand up straight even if the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

2. Enjoy the ride.

Sure, it's as if life is filled with a constant rainstorm and a scarce amount of sunshine. But, on that day when you are standing in the eye of the storm. Stop. Inhale. Exhale. And take a look at the hidden beauty in a world full of ugly. So, when i complain to you on the car ride home how much i hate high school or how annoying my coaches are, i stop and count out reasons you gave me to be happy. So, here's to you and your superpowers. Thank you for giving me my sunshine, Mom.

3. Smile.

When grandma passed away, i remember walking into Tia Hilda's and you smiled at me. In the worst moment of your life, you smiled through the pain. It was in this moment i realized just how strong you are. You hold the weight of the world on your back, but you don't let it break you. Even if everything around you is crashing down, you don't let your smile falter. Mom, you are the strongest person i have ever had the pleasure of knowing. You have ichor running through your veins, with the heart of Athena beating in your chest. Thank you, Mom. So much.

I tried to write a poem about you,

But every word i write does no

Justice to the way you smile,

Or the way you laugh.

I tried to write a poem about you,

But every word i write is a reminder

That you are no longer mine.

I tried to write a poem about you,

But you are no longer my muse

And i am no longer a poet.

I am strong, i am safe.

The wind sings songs of melancholy as it flows through the hollowness of my soul.

My heart is no longer beating, my lips no longer smile.

You left a shadow of the person i used to be.

I am strong, i am safe.

The stars remind me of our past, once so bright.

I no longer stargaze in fear of remembering something that was once so golden.

I am strong, i am safe.

But, i will rebuild myself from the debris of our love.

My heart will be made of diamond, my body an armor of steel.

I am strong, i am safe.

My mind will be shielded from the infection that is your stare, my ears will be protected from your words of sorrow.

My heart is no longer naive, my mind is no longer overanalyzing your every

move.

You may be a strong gust of wind, but i will not falter, for i am strong, i am safe.

When i first saw you, i swore i saw the universe swirling in your eyes.

When i first heard your laugh, i swore i heard the sound of a symphony floating through the air above.

When i first met you, i felt tsunami of love crashing against the walls of my heart.

The first time you stayed the night with me, I counted the freckles that were scattered across your cheeks as if they were the stars that painted the night sky.

The first time we went to the movies, i stole constant glances, watching the way your onyx eyes glittered with happiness.

When i first saw you, i knew that you would be the best damn thing that happened to me, but damn i wish that you knew how i feel.

Im hopelessly in love with you. Some days i think that you love me too, but not in the way i love you.

Im stuck in a hole, trying to dig myself out.

Every move I make, every breath I take, the hole gets

deeper,

deeper,

and deeper.

I can no longer feel the sun's warmth, or feel the cool night air.

Im stuck in a hole, trying to dig myself out.

Every move I make, every breath I take, the hole gets

deeper,

deeper,

and deeper.

I can no longer hear the symphony of laughter or the melody of whispers.

Im stuck in a hole, trying to dig myself out.

Every move I make, every breath I take, the hole gets

deeper,

deeper,

and deeper.

Its not the same anymore.

You used to call me in the middle of the night, telling me how the moon reminded you of me.

How it was ever-changing, a constant balance of light and dark.

Its not the same anymore.

You used to call me, hope in your voice, love in your words.

You called me firefly, because i had the ability to bring light even to the darkest nights.

Its not the same anymore.

I don't watch the moon anymore.

It's a reminder that you are more of a day person now, you spend your nights with someone else.

Its not the same anymore.

I don't get your calls anymore.

There is no love in my words, there is no hope in my eyes.

It's not the same anymore.

I am no longer a firefly, bright and heartening.

I am a moth, drawn to the flame in your eyes that no longer see me.

It's not the same anymore.

You were fire, a flicker of a flame, bright and wild.

You were a raging wildfire, spreading through the mountains claiming them as yours.

You were burning through my heart, turning me to ash.

You were fire, a flicker of a flame, bright and wild.

When i hear the word ghost, i dont think of the afterlife.

You are a ghost.

I can feel your touch, i can hear your whispers.

You follow me, never letting me forget your presence.

You have this iron hold on me and to be honest, i don't want you to let me go.

You are a ghost of my past,

my present,

my future.

I want to feel your touch, hear your whispers.

I don't want to forget your presence.

Please don't let me forget your presence.