Same Face

Their palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, and I'm pretty sure quoting Eminem won't help them. They'll lift a trembling hand in front of their face watch it shake and spasm spasm spasm until they can't take the sight anymore, and they'll clench their fists, and they'll clench their fists, and they'll clench their fists, and then breathe out and unclench them. They'll lift a trembling hand in front of their face, watch it shake and spasm spasm spasm until they can't take the mindless repetition anymore. They'll clutch something to their chest, maybe a stuffed animal, maybe a pair of tap shoes, maybe a book, but never a person. Even though they're surrounded by people who claim to care, they would sit by themselves by their bag, and watch people have fun without them. I open my eyes and can't help but still feel everything I felt back then. Nobody would notice when I went missing for hours at a time, just that I was there when I was meant to be. While they were invited to dinner parties I was the inviter lest I be left out. And I might dye my hair, never leaving it my plain brown color, and I might lose the makeup because I always wore too much of it back then, but I still have the same face, same face, same face, same face, I still have the same face as the person who experienced everything I never deserved to. I still have the same face as the person who had to initiate if they wanted something done. I still have the same face of the person who used to ghost everyone to see if they would notice. And I- I still have the same face, I still see that same face, same face, same face oh God I have the same face same face I-